Bonjour Royal friends!

Welcome to my blog, a ‘tongue-in-chic’ happiness lifestyle guide from a funny princess point of view!

Today I’d like to talk to you today about a practice to help you beat the holiday blues and gear up for a ton of good cheer, even if you feel lonely or isolated.  

The holidays can be a magical time full of fun, frolic, togehtherness, and happy traditions. But the holidays can also be a time that’s not so magical, especially if you’ve recently experienced a loss of a family member or friend. Or you’ve been at the break end of a break up. Or someone important to you has moved away. The holidays, like any royal ball, can be a dazzling affair, but they can also leave you feeling like Cinderella before her magical transformation. 

Fear not. If you’re feeling lonely and out of the swing of holiday good cheer, you don’t have to remain feeling isolated and alone. The following practice is like a magical wand you can wield to turn those blues into a sparkling carriage of holiday cheer! All you must do is make a decision to pump up your “proactive connectivity” and reach out to people in the holiday spirit. And you don’t  have to worry about your footmen turning into mice. Although I always thought the mice were cute. 

But you say “Princess Diane von B, how can reaching out to other people make me feel better if I believe they should be reaching out to me first? Why should I be the one who (always) reaches out!”  I can hear it in your voice. You sound a bit miffed. I get it. But in order to bust through the holiday feelings of isolation, you’ll be better served if you dump the grudges that are holding you back and untwist those noses that have gotten out of joint. 

When my son was about 15, he was on a traveling baseball team. One day I was standing on the sidelines when suddenly, wham, I saw a baseball hit my son in the nose.  Before my husband or I had anything to say about it, the coach grabbed my son’s shnozz and bent the darn thing back into place. Of course, we still hauled him to a doctor to make sure he was okay. 

I tell you this story because some of the holiday loneliness you feel may be compounded if your nose is out of joint with someone you care about. The good news is you hold the power in your hands like a magic wand to wave away some of your feelings of isolation and loneliness by taking the lead and proactively reaching out to your family and friends. 

             “Be proactive and reach out to connect with family and friends, even if they don’t reach out to you first.”

Don’t do the “tit for tat” thing with people you want to be in your life.  I call you…now it’s your turn. It’s a big waste of time and you will end up isolating yourself. Get comfortable with reaching out to people you care about, even if you must swallow a little pride and eat a little humble pie. That’s not such a bad meal, especially during the holiday season if you want a big taste of optimism.

Is your nose out of joint because your son or daughter, or grandkiddies didn’t call during the holidays? Is your nose out of joint because your friend is having a party and you weren’t invited? Is your nose out of joint because you didn’t get a visit from your son or daughter when you expected to? Is your nose out of joint because your daughter-in-law baked oatmeal cookies with raisins in them, and she knows you love oatmeal cookies, but you don’t like raisins?

In each of these cases, you may be totally justified to be a tad miffed. A bit upset. Get your nose out of joint. But, as my friend Fanny used to say, “What are you going to do with that?” What are you going to do with that? What good is it going to do!

It’s not going to make you feel good. It’s not going to foster a good relationship. You know what some wise guru once said: Let that “stuff” go! Except the word they used wasn’t “stuff.”

It’s not easy to be a proactive connector, especially when your nose is out of joint. Believe me. I continually have to remind myself that I’ve made a decision to overcome my nose-out-of-jointness.  I’ve made a commitment to my mental health, my optimism, my happiness to be my own plastic surgeon and put my nose back.

To break free from the tower of loneliness, channel your inner fairy godmother. Remember the tale of my son and the rogue baseball? Well, his coach, much like a magical mentor, swiftly fixed his nose. Just like that, we too can mend relationships and restore our sense of connection. 

Besides, you never know what’s going on in people’s lives,  whether you’ve miscommunicated about something, or whether people have good intentions but are just overwhelmed. 

My in-laws told me that one year they didn’t get a Christmas card from someone from whom they expected to get a card. Do you know they found that Christmas card stuck in a crack of their door nine years later!  What if they had gotten their noses out of joint for not getting a Christmas card and decided to snub the other people. They may have ruined the relationship.

I love what Pope John Paul the Second said:

“See everything, overlook a great deal, and improve a little.”

Life is too short to let your gripes keep you feeling isolated. Reach out. Be proactive.  Keep and make connections.  Take the first step. These connectings are your optimism lifelines.  Don’t sever your lifelines.

In this holiday season, let not your grievances be the Maleficent to your joyous kingdom. Reach out, be regal, be the holiday sovereign of connection. Life is a royal feast, and your window for holiday enchantment is fleeting. Break free from the tower of isolation, spread some cheer, and have yourself a majestically jolly holiday season! 🌟👑

x♥x♥x♥,

Diane Uniman, Aka Princess Diane von Brainisfried, attorney turned motivational speaker and writer. Breast cancer survivor.  Author of Bonjour, Breast Cancer-I’m Still Smiling…Wit, Wisdom, and Optimism for Beating the Breast Cancer Blues.

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