DON’T FALL PREY TO THE “POO POO” EFFECT~OR…EVERYONE’S A CRITIC

Bonjour Royal friends!

Welcome to my blog, a ‘tongue-in-chic’ happiness lifestyle guide from a funny princess point of view!

Today I’d like to talk to you about “Don’t fall prey to the Poo Poo Effect.”

The Displeasures of Childhood Diplomacy

When I was but a wee royal, maybe seven or eight, I often made my entrance to Hebrew School classes from the entrails of a carpool. Among my chariot-mates in this carpool was a girl a smidge younger than I. Now, in my very few years on this earth, I’d already mastered the art of diplomacy. There were precious few people I’d say I genuinely disliked. But this girl—oh, she was one of them. She had the air of someone who could turn honey to vinegar with her mere presence, although I don’t remember specifics of anything that made me dislike her.

Remembering Feelings More Than Words

You know that saying you may not remember what somebody said but you will remember how they made you feel? It’s true. I don’t remember what she said, but I remember she was annoying. More than annoying. She was the type who’d make you feel like you needed a tiara-polish and an extra-long bubble bath just to cleanse her vibe from your aura.

The Blueberry Curse: P-Day Begins

One day, completely unprovoked, she casually dropped a piece of information so revolting, it changed my life: she was eating blueberries over the weekend and she had found a worm in one of them! A worm that was alive! She said blueberries were horrible, disgusting little things that you can never, ever trust. Poo Poo!

A Fateful Tale That Tainted Blueberries Forever

Now, up until that terrible revelation, I had a fine relationship with blueberries. I adored them, especially the ones I picked fresh off the bush at our summer home down the shore. But this pint-sized purveyor of yuck went on to say she would never touch blueberries again. The curse was cast; she’d tainted blueberries for me with that one dreadful tale.

Seeking a Royal Remedy

Once home, I told my mother this tale of woe and that I was afraid to eat blueberries ever again. Luckily, my mother, a pathologist who looked at slides under a microscope for a living, swooped in to save the day. She assured me, with the confidence of a scientist and a mom, that she would personally examine each blueberry individually under her microscope, and make sure that each one of them was worm-free. I believed her, though, admittedly, half-heartedly, the same way I half believed that she buried Lucky, my dead goldfish, outside in the yard and hadn’t given him a sailor’s burial. The upshot is I still eat blueberries with one eye squinted shut for safety. But I do eat them. Yes…I eat them and adore them!

The Poo Poo Effect Strikes Again

And that, Royal Friend, was my first encounter with the Poo Poo Effect. The years have brought more. My mother poo poo’d a vacation resort and dulled its sparkle. Her antique’s dealer dismissed a gilded Victorian mirror my mother wanted to purchase, leaving my mother soured on Victorian era antiques for a while. (The dealer’s Snob Factor commingled with the Poo Poo factor, as Victorian antiques were not historically old enough at the time, and thus not worthy of her purchase.) Years ago, one of my sons requested a new pair of sneakers that were fire engine red, only to abandon them almost immediately—Poo Poo’d by some playground critic, no doubt. And my dad? He poo-poo’d comic books so thoroughly that, to this day, I can hardly pick one up without wondering if I should be reading a more “noble” tome.

The Resilience of What We Love

The Poo Poo Effect is real. It’s sticky. It lingers longer than the people who set it in motion would ever remember. These days, antioxidants have redeemed the blueberries, Victorian antiques are worth a mint, that vacation spot is prime real estate, and red sneakers? They’re totally runway-worthy in the fashion world.

Final Royal Words: Defend Your Dreams!

I beseech you Royal Friends, don’t let anyone’s Poo Poo Effect cast its dreary cloud over your dreams, your goals, or your tastes. Dust off the glitter, straighten your crown, and keep moving forward. Let no one poo-poo your anything in your parade!

Royally yours with love,

Princess Diane Von Brainisfried

x♥x♥x♥,

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Dame Diane Uniman, Aka Princess Diane von Brainisfried, is an attorney turned motivational speaker, certified positive psychology life coach and award-winning writer.  She wrote Bonjour, Breast Cancer-I’m Still Smiling…Wit, Wisdom, and Optimism for Beating the Breast Cancer Blues.