Is that funny money in your wallet?

Dear Royal Friends, 

It has come to the attention of the keepers of my royal treasure trove, that some of the money in our kingdom might be funny.  Was there an interloper in our kingdom who was laundering more than dirty knickers? How did this infection infuse our treasury?

I was terribly upset at first, because I have heard very bad things about funny money, although I don’t really know what they are. Anything funny seems like a good thing to me. And that’s when I had an epiphany.

We here in the kingdom are always trying to look at the bright side. If anyone can find a way to make lemon-cello out of lemons, we can.  So I thought, funny is a good thing. Stuff that’s funny makes you laugh, puts a smile on your face, lifts your spirits. So if  funny is a good thing, why can’t we look at funny money in a way that is a good thing too?  And we can!  You see, finally, for the first time ever, only in our kingdom, if and when our money is funny…money can buy you happiness.

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And that’s a pretty big bang for the buck.                        

Bisous et tra la la,

Princess Diane Von Brainisfried                                              

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Mind blowing question to live your big bold princess-worthy life!

Dear Royal Friends,

If you are a royal friend of mine, which you are if you’re reading this, you are someone who wants to live a big, bold princess-worthy life. But sometimes it’s really hard to know what your big, bold, princess-worth life is.  And sometimes even if you do know, you’ve either missed the boat, or you never had a snowball’s chance in Hades from achieving it.  And sometimes it’s just too mind-boggling to think about it. Because it’s scary. Maybe you’ll end up looking down a long empty hallway of locked doors, and everybody’s gone home.  

Say you dreamed of becoming an internationally famous NBA basketball star, but there’s one “tiny” problem.  You’re five foot one in fishnet stockings.  red-light-299710_1920

Plus, they don’t have a girl’s locker room.  Plus, you’ve started getting magazines from AARP. You smirk at yourself and your dim, lofty dreams, and in your best smirk voice, you smirk, “You haven’t missed the boat — you’ve missed the ark. Have a nice life, suck-ah! Oh, and by the way, I’ll smirk if I want to.” 

Sometimes, however, it’s not our height, age or sex that’s getting in the way of our big, bold, princess-worthy life.  Sometimes it’s us.  Because we refuse to recalibrate our original dreams to make them fit our authentic, valuable, worthy life that we actually live now that we’ve carved out with people whom we love and who love us.  Tradable for nothing. Because it’s worth everything.  

Guess what? Good news! There’s an alternative dream coming to you that fits your authentic life. Maybe it’s not a perfect dream, but it’s pretay, pratay good.  Entertain this possibility: If you let yourself flow where this new dream takes you, you might find you get some place you never even old-dreamed…and that your life looks better and it’s more meaningful than it would have been had you pursued your original dream!  

So what now?  What happens if we just haven’t ventured out past our Comfort Zone, because we haven’t dared to put thought rays in that direction for a very long time. My royal friends.  I’m here to tell you, don’t be afraid.  There’s a safe place somewhere between Out-On-A-Limb-Throwing-It-All-Away  v. Don’t-Do-A-Darn-Thing-About-An-Old-Dream.

Here’s a little trick I picked up from the Royal House of Haplessburger.  Which is not, by the way, related to a royally hapless burger, which, by the way, as a vegan, I don’t “relish” the thought.  Ask yourself:

WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE IF YOU KNEW YOU COULD NOT FAIL?

This question is worth more than at least one big diamond in my tiara and a small sapphire. Maybe throw in a big fat emerald for good luck. This question will radically bust through the gray matter membrane in your tiara-topped skull to get it jiggling in the right direction.  Once you answer the question, don’t YOU be the one to stand in your way. Don’t YOU be your own worst frenemy.  

You see, there is no failing.  There is just doing. Just adventure. Just a journey. Just a big fat learning curve.  Just a rich and fabulous life on new and endearing and energized terms. You see, half way between wanting to be an NBA star and sitting on the palace stoop with a bag of Veuve Cliquot and a tin pan (hey, it’s a living), there’s something out there for you that you will still LOVE to do, and feel fulfillment in doing, if you would just slap some street cred in the direction of your inner goddess and less credence to your inner critic.  It’s a new look. Only on the inside.  

Here’s the key to the palace: Don’t trap yourself into thinking you have to change jobs, leave your family, quit your life, fill in the blanks.  There’s  a way to pursue your old dream in some form if you will just apply some creative thinking.  Here’s a bonus key to the palace: Throw away your all or nothing mentality.  That is one of the biggest moat traps you can fall into.  There are some real crocodiles waiting there to thwart your big, bold, princess-worthy life.

So you. You with the fishnets and the hearing aids. Yeah you. Go ahead. Organize a basketball team in your area.  Maybe it becomes recognized state wide and beyond. You start raising some serious funds for a really BIG cause.  You blog about it. Others blog about it.  I’m already hearing some serious buzz…ET calls you. Hooray! You’re a Princess Hero Basketball Super Star!  You’ve even got your own private locker room!

You can do it my royal friends….I bid you good luck!  Get out there and live your big, bold princess-worthy lives!

bisous et tra la la,

 

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Princess Diane Von Brainisfried

 

Monday Princess Pun Day Woohoo! Why I’m All Keyed Up!

DEAR ROYAL FRIENDS,

If the days spent in your palace are anything like mine, there are constant festivities which include the use of musical instruments.  There’s absolutely no use for a palace without lots and lots of noise.  Of course the mainstay of musical instruments is the wooden-legged,  monolith called a piano.girl-711087_1280

Those of you familiar with this glorious instrument, know that there is a certain amount of diligent upkeep required to keep the piano on key. It is often exceedingly difficult and frustrating to find a trusted person to “perform” this task.  Well Hallelujah Chorus! I’ve finally found the solution to this dis-“concert”-ing  problem!  Get Yee to a Brooklyn fish market!                                                                                                      

You are probably wondering, “Princess Diane Von Brainisfried, why would I find someone to keep my piano on key at a Brooklyn fish market?”  Answer: Because there you will find your pick of “piano tunas!” 

Final “note”:  A finely tuned piano is one of the best motivators for working hard on your “scales.”

Happy Monday Princess Pun Day! hearts-673345_640 pixabay

PRINCESS DIANE  VON BRAINISFRIED

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