HOW TO START THINKING YOU’RE NEVER TOO OLD

Dear Royal Friends,                                                                                      Many of you out there in the kingdom have bought into the false narrative that as you age, your worth in the (world, job market, meat market) diminishes.  Through my travels and coaching I’ve seen how many of you have bought into this false narrative, not only for yourself, but you think that everyone and his mangy mutt’s cousin thinks this way too.

This is incredibly self-destructive, self-sabotaging, and self-limiting self-talk, especially if you’re out in the field looking for a new job or new career and competing with cake-walking cock of the walk types. This is exactly the time when a princess needs to dig deep and bring the bold! But I get it. It can be difficult to exude bold energy if you think of yourself as  a “has been,”  or you think the world sees you as one. 

It’s a new day princess! Here’s a thought that will reframe that negative self-talk about getting older and smashing it to a pulp as pulpy as avocado on toast!  I caught the idea while waiting on the lunch line at Panera’s.  A veritable Panera Epiphany.  Ever have one of those? An idea catches you while you’re calculating the lesser damage between the cheddar cheese and broccoli soup and the Greek salad with quinoa.  Out of nowhere, whammo, you get an enlightened thought.  That’s what happened. Suddenly, an image of Albert Einstein popped into my head. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This thought bubble might have made more sense if I had been eating at Einstein Bagels; such is the mysterious nature of the mind and its synapses.

So, after this image came to my mind I thought, “What do we think of when we see a picture of the old man Einstein — all manic white hair flaming around his wrinkled, bushy-eyed face? Do we think, “Twenty bucks ole’ Albee doesn’t remember where he put his keys.” Do we think, “I bet the hoo-ha’s at The Institute didn’t expect him to the solve the hard ones anymore”  

Nyet. The first thought that comes to mind when we see a photo of the elder Einstein is, “GENIUS BRAINIAC!”  Not, “has been” Genius Brainiac.  Not “used to be” Genius Brainiac.  We don’t superimpose upon that old man’s image any of that incredibly destructive, sabotaging, and limiting talk that we might impose upon ourselves if well, we looked as wildly, unapologetically old as he did.

So here’s where I’m going with this. If you were an employer looking for a think tank kind of employee, and the real old man Albert Einstein wandered into your office looking for a think tank kind of job, what would be your reaction? Fifty bucks it wouldn’t be “Twenty-bucks that guy doesn’t know where he put his keys” or “I bet he can’t solve the hard ones anymore.”  

Granted you may not be a genius. Or maybe you are. But that’s beside the point for today. We the public never view  Einstein’s age as an issue with his functionality, his relevance, or any diminution of his gifts.  To the outside world, his age, for all time, has been rendered irrelevant. As it should be.  

So likewise, princess, no matter how white your hair, no matter how bushy your eyebrows, no matter how long your ear lobes, render your age irrelevant.  That advice is in line with what my French friend and mentor, Fanny Truehertz, used to tell me: “Be like I am.  I never think about my age.” Those French divas know how it’s done!  And if you want to find out more how it’s done, take a gander over to the iconic Cindy Jospeh, of the BOOM! revolution. Cindy has created a rather revolutionary dialogue among women and their birthday candles, not to mention cool and liberating products, that has taken feeling good about your growing older self to a whole ‘nuther level.

So heads up princess! It’s time you let your brightness, your boldness, and your creative spark sustain you and drive you until it’s just not physically possible any more. And by that I mean you’ve either become dead or demented.  I want you to carry around the image of Einstein in your mind’s pocket. I want you to whip it out any time you need ammo to help your inner and outer man kick that erroneous, self-destructive thought process that your age makes your brain less relevant…and put that into re-butt-al mode. I don’t want you to ever again fall prey to the false narrative that one extra minute of living you’ve added to the gift of YOU has in any way diminished your gifts!

The moral of the story, or morel of the story, if you’re partial to fungus is, never let your years come between you and your sense of self-worth.  And if you ever start slipping into old patterns, I’ve got two words for you. Albert Einstein. Oh, and btw, I got the salad.

XOXOXO,

PRINCESS DIANE VON BRAINISFRIED

                         “Live your royally happy life!™”

 

 

Is the Humble Brag the new obnoxious self-promotion

Dear Royal Friends,  

There was a time when humbleness and humility was a noble quality.  Those who resorted to bragging and tooting their own horns were viewed as tacky and obnoxious.  Does Queen Elizabeth get her “rocks” off by bragging about how many diamonds nestle in her diadem? The royal “we” think not. 

Enter the humble brag, a term credited to the late writer Harris Wittels, writer on the TV series “Parcs and Rec.” The humble brag is a brag bomb that’s tightly wrapped in humility like a corn husk tamale. You don’t know the quality of the inside mush until it gets unwrapped.

The humble brag, perforce wrapped in humility, can take you by surprise and leave you wondering whether the person just offered up  insider information on her soul, or slammed you with the goo of obnoxious self-promotion.  poses-1367416_1280

So, what’s the humble bragger’s deal?  I believe she is the person who longs to brag, but is too clever to let it all hang out, and soft enough to care about us liking her.   Thus, she throws the scent off the trail with a booby trap, commonly in the form of a preamble that smells like self-deprication.  But never fear — her musket is loaded.  Further down the road she will blow forth a big fat bombastic brag.

Here’s an example: “Can you believe how stupid I am? I can’t believe I blew the answer to that Jeopardy question.  I just don’t know how they let me into Harvard and I graduated Phi Beta Kappa in three years while I worked full time as a reporter for the Boston Globe.”  Here’s another fine example:  “I thought I looked like crap when I stepped off the plane in Monaco. It’s crazy that I got mobbed by reporters who thought I was Princess Caroline. I don’t know why that always happens to me.” 

If one deconstructs the humble brag, it’s pretty clear that the ammunition employed is the smokescreen of confusion.  She said she was stupid, didn’t she? She said she looked like crap, right?  Golly. I guess she’s can’t be bragging.  

So why should we care whether we can identify if someone is overtly bragging v. covertly humble bragging? I mean,  isn’t it true that all braggers are generally sprinkled with the sediment of insecurity, and thus, as princesses, we must have compassion and show tolerance toward them all, even as we turn up our noses in the stink of it? Yup.  But sitting through a covert bragging jag without throwing up is really, really hard to do. So maybe if we can identify a person as a humble bragger, and not a true high-flying bragger, compassion might be a little easier to find. 

Whereas the obnoxious overt bragger wants to be loved but doesn’t seem to give a crap whom he or she offends, the covert humble bragger is a different animal. These folks seriously want to brag, but they still give it the ole’ college try in trying to be decent about it.  They pray you don’t find the bragging stone under the smooth green softening moss of their alleged self-deprecation. We should give them credit for that.  Does that mean they still can be really likable? Yeah. I think so.

Humble bragging may be the new obnoxious brag, but in the hierarchy of obnoxiousness, it ain’t on the highest rung.  And, perhaps one day, you may have something you are really really proud of, you feel yourself busting at the seams, and you’re pretty sure it’s not gas.   You might find humble bragging is your best shot at letting it out — and still keeping your friends.

                                                                          XOXOXOXO                                                           PRINCESS DIANE VON BRAINISFRIED

“LIVE YOUR ROYALLY HAPPY, RADICALLY FULFILLED, PRINCESS-WORTHY LIFE!™”

THREE WORDS THAT WILL TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE!

Dear Royal Friends, 

I remember reading once that the famous Rabbi Hillel was  asked if he  could teach the Torah while someone was standing on one foot.  His answer was yes.  He said something like, “Don’t treat others in a way you would not want to be treated. The rest is commentary. Now go study.”    Pretty amazing condensation of ideas.  The guy literally invented short and sweet.  The idea expressed in that powerful sentence was life-changing for those who are capable of following the credo.  Whenever I think of Rabbi Hillel, I think of that lesson as being his essence. 

Have you ever challenged  yourself by asking what lesson, what credo do you hold that is the essence of yourself? Something you believe in your inner core that is profound that could change a person in a positive way?  I bet if you thought about it, you would flesh out something really inspiring. 

I encourage you by way of this post,   to think about a premise that you believe is life-changing for the good, and share it with us in the kingdom.   Let us know!  If you are reading this column, you are a person of substance and love.  We in the kingdom want to hear what you have to say that could change the world for the better.  Just start with one idea.  If you thought it, it’s worth reading.

Here’s my big credo. Something that is of my essence:  PRACTICE RADICAL FORGIVENESS.  Dee Nice Photo 1

If you forgive radically, unconditionally, you will change your life and the lives of others.  You will fly light like a bird.  You will know the incredible lightness of being. You will never again drag around the baggage and puss of old grudges.  It’s the most liberating thing you can do for yourself without breaking any laws.  Practicing radical forgiveness does not mean you excuse the other person. It just means you sing the Frozen song and let it go. Not for the other guy, but for you. It releases the forces of revenge.  It breaks cycles of madness. It keeps doors open and let’s people back in.  It kicks the crap out of fear. It’s the singular most powerful force in my universe that supports my smile.  I’d love you to try it and share your thoughts below!

Bisous et tra la la,  

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PRINCESS DIANE VON BRAINISFRIED

 

“LIVE YOUR ROYALLY HAPPY LIFE!™”

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Seven Princess-worthy Secrets to Comfort Yourself

My Dear Royal Friends, 

Here’s a little secret you might not know.  Even the happiest of happy princesses has bad hair days.  I don’t mean bad hair in the literal sense, as tiaras hide a myriad of sins, but days when she wants to hide under the blankees with her biggest, softest, fluffiest Pooh bear and not come out til tee-time.  

I can hear you all tittering, “She said poo, she said poo!” Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, I want to talk about what to do when your world gets a wee bit a’kilter. I don’t mean a’kilter in the Scottish sense, in which case you could  merely “skirt” the issues.

Let me proffer a couple of examples. Say some mega-rich sheik beat you to the last vacancy at the only stable suitable for your precious steed. Did I mention you’re currently boarding Trigger in your ground floor guest bedroom? Did I mention said bedroom has white marble floors? Did I mention said horse is glucose intolerant?

Perhaps that Rent-A-Runway dress that looked divine on your bestie, but on you the dress looks like a 20-pound sack for organic potatoes.  Did I mention you look like the potatoes? Did I mention you’re hoping Whole Foods sent it?  Did I mention, the party’s tonight? Did I mention you’re trying to impress your “ex?”  Did I mention you’re out of Xanax?  

This stuff can really send a princess to the royal bed chamber for cover. Neve fear. Here are SEVEN TRIED AND TRUE suggestions to help you comfort yourself when you’re having a royally bad hair day.

1. ALLOW YOURSELF A TEN MINUTE PITY PARTY 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

    2.  PIG OUT BUT RESPONSIBLY

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3. VISIT AN ANIMAL SHELTER & CONSIDER ADOPTING A PET

Photo Credit: Jug Jones via Compfight cc

Photo Credit: Jug Jones via Compfight cc

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


    4. CLEAN OUT THE CLOSETS & DONATE STUFF THAT DOESN’T FIT ANYONE ANYMORE 

 

 

 

 

 

5. READ ANY FAIRY TALE TO A CHILD EXCEPT BAMBI

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

6. BITE SOMETHING THAT WON’T BITE BACK

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7.   COOK A NEW RECIPE AND INVITE A FRIEND TO TRY IT

Photo Credit: quinn.anya via Compfight cc

Photo Credit: quinn.anya via Compfight cc

 

I hope these little tips  help you to debunk your funk!   I’d love to hear your ideas too!

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PRINCESS DIANE VON BRAINISFRIED!

“LIVE YOUR ROYALLY HAPPY LIFE!™”

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