One princess’s pudding is another’s poison

Dear Royal Friends~

You’ve undoubtedly heard the expression,  “one man’s poison is another man’s pudding.”  

"You don't like puddin'? Then more for me!"

“You don’t like puddin’? Then more for me!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For example, staying on a “roll” with the food theme, I am not a big fan of pig roasts.  It pains me to see these sad-eyed  little critters crammed all whole and real on a serving platter, their last Wil(bur) and testament being a parsley-plattered  laurel, a sad irony considering it’s certainly not the pig’s victory.  And, good lord, what they do to that poor apple!

Pig roasts, as you might have guessed, are my poison. But some princesses love pig roasts. To them,  it’s their pudding.

And so I was reminded of this pudding/poison axiom as I was strolling through New York City’s Central Park just the other day, when  grey, threatening skies loomed sooner than predicted.  The clouds were not supposed to open up into wetness until evening. But you know what they say, “Man plans, G-d laughs”  and the skies had another idea.  Almost without warning, we in the park got dumped on by a torrent that soon soaked our clothes and packages, and made our sneakers and jellies squeak.  

Many scurried and many scowled, and most did both, harassed by this lapse in weatherman judgement.   I ran under the nearest broad-limbed tree, but the droplets were like heat seeking missiles that found their way through the feathery leaves.   I spied  a table umbrella at a vacant table by a little park cafe and made a bee-line for better cover.

As I stood waiting out the downpour,  feeling slightly grumbly,  I saw a sight that shifted my perception of the unexpected storm.  

You see, running down the hill outside the little park cafe was a young man pushing a baby carriage  in the pouring rain.  He was shouting  “wheeeeeee” “wheeeeee” at the top of his lungs,  and his rain-streaked face sported a smile so brilliant, it was a near match for the absent sun.   Inside the carriage was a golden-haired angel, maybe two or three years old, soaked curls matted against her head,  head tilted up to the sky to receive this gift, giggling and laughing in wild abandon.  Both of her chubby little  arms were outstretched high into the air in order to grasp the raindrops as they whizzed by her in the carriage.

  I will never forget the expression on that little girl’s face. If joy had a face, she was IT.

In that moment I realized that this downpour, this “poison” that was responsible for so many scowls on so many faces, was quintessential pudding to this little girl!  Forget pudding; this was an Eiffel tower-sized  ice cream sundae with rainbow shhhprinkels!  This was  a giant stuffed teddy bear won at a Six Flags roulette wheel.  This was an “I bought you a puppy” even though mommy said “no.”

Suddenly, at the sight of this little cherub’s amazingly happy face, I broke into a Cheshire Cat grin. Her exuberant squeals of delight tickled me princess pink, and what was a moment ago my poison, became instantly my pudding. (Not to be confused with instant pudding.) Right then and there I made a vow  to remember the expression on that little girl’s face forever. To remember the sound of her unfettered and spontaneous glee.  To remember her father’s indulgently playful “wheeeeeee” “wheeeee” all the way home. I shall use these as my shield against the onslaughts of daily little poisons.

And when they assault me, and they will, I will  remember this little girl and her father, and then this little princess will go “wheeee” “wheeee” all the way home to the palace. 

TTFN, P! (Ta Ta For Now, Princess)  

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PRINCESS DIANE VON BRAINISFRIED

“Live Your Royally Happy Life!™”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seven Princess-worthy Secrets to Comfort Yourself

My Dear Royal Friends, 

Here’s a little secret you might not know.  Even the happiest of happy princesses has bad hair days.  I don’t mean bad hair in the literal sense, as tiaras hide a myriad of sins, but days when she wants to hide under the blankees with her biggest, softest, fluffiest Pooh bear and not come out til tee-time.  

I can hear you all tittering, “She said poo, she said poo!” Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, I want to talk about what to do when your world gets a wee bit a’kilter. I don’t mean a’kilter in the Scottish sense, in which case you could  merely “skirt” the issues.

Let me proffer a couple of examples. Say some mega-rich sheik beat you to the last vacancy at the only stable suitable for your precious steed. Did I mention you’re currently boarding Trigger in your ground floor guest bedroom? Did I mention said bedroom has white marble floors? Did I mention said horse is glucose intolerant?

Perhaps that Rent-A-Runway dress that looked divine on your bestie, but on you the dress looks like a 20-pound sack for organic potatoes.  Did I mention you look like the potatoes? Did I mention you’re hoping Whole Foods sent it?  Did I mention, the party’s tonight? Did I mention you’re trying to impress your “ex?”  Did I mention you’re out of Xanax?  

This stuff can really send a princess to the royal bed chamber for cover. Neve fear. Here are SEVEN TRIED AND TRUE suggestions to help you comfort yourself when you’re having a royally bad hair day.

1. ALLOW YOURSELF A TEN MINUTE PITY PARTY 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

    2.  PIG OUT BUT RESPONSIBLY

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3. VISIT AN ANIMAL SHELTER & CONSIDER ADOPTING A PET

Photo Credit: Jug Jones via Compfight cc

Photo Credit: Jug Jones via Compfight cc

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


    4. CLEAN OUT THE CLOSETS & DONATE STUFF THAT DOESN’T FIT ANYONE ANYMORE 

 

 

 

 

 

5. READ ANY FAIRY TALE TO A CHILD EXCEPT BAMBI

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

6. BITE SOMETHING THAT WON’T BITE BACK

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7.   COOK A NEW RECIPE AND INVITE A FRIEND TO TRY IT

Photo Credit: quinn.anya via Compfight cc

Photo Credit: quinn.anya via Compfight cc

 

I hope these little tips  help you to debunk your funk!   I’d love to hear your ideas too!

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PRINCESS DIANE VON BRAINISFRIED!

“LIVE YOUR ROYALLY HAPPY LIFE!™”

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TOP 10 COOL, UP & COMING CHARITIES EVERY PRINCESS SHOULD SUPPORT

Dear Royal Friends,                                                                                 EVERYONE who’s anyone,  or at least someone who is anyone, has heard of charity balls such as THE MET GALA,  MOMA’S ARMORY GALA and THE TRIBECA BALL.  They are three of New York’s hottest charity shindigs. They’re what “insiders” call, “AVBD” (A Very Big Deal).  These are the charities that literally beat down doors to position la creme de la creme of society on their boards for support.  Why do you think my palace doors are made of iron? Exactly.

Despite their heavily pedigreed boards, famously “hot” charities such as these aren’t the only gala games in town.  There are numerous princess-worthy charities that are poised to be peppered with well-heeled civic-minded hob-nobbers that will be a perfect fit for a princess’s proud patronage! 

After much head-scratching (which is a bit tricky wearing a tiara), here is my list of TOP 10 COOL, UP & COMING 501C 3’s every princess should support.  These relatively obscure charities are  über cool.  If you want to be known as a leader in the princess pack, get on the band wagon now!  They are, in neither ascending nor descending order of importance:

 1. The New York Society For The Support of Orphaned Werewolves;

https://pixabay.com/en/werewolf-ghost-halloween-kid-fun-151663/

https://pixabay.com/en/werewolf-ghost-halloween-kid-fun-151663/

2. The International Organization for the Abolishment of Abused Rodeo Clowns;

https://pixabay.com/en/rodeo-cowboy-bull-riding-west-720779/

https://pixabay.com/en/rodeo-cowboy-bull-riding-west-720779/

3. New Jersey Society for the Rehabilitation of Ubiquitous and Nondescript  Diners;

https://pixabay.com/en/meal-diner-restaurant-762625/

https://pixabay.com/en/meal-diner-restaurant-762625/

 4. The New York League for the Aid of Anxious Frogs Or Toads Because No One Seems To Know The Difference; 
https://pixabay.com/en/toad-migration-toads-nature-301809/

https://pixabay.com/en/toad-migration-toads-nature-301809/

 

 

 

 

 

 

5. The New York & LA Society for The Prevention of Fallen Cheek Implants;

https://pixabay.com/en/doll-chubby-cheeks-face-toy-cute-18224/

https://pixabay.com/en/doll-chubby-cheeks-face-toy-cute-18224/

 

 

 

 

 

 

6. The International Organization for the Aid of Beauty Pageant Burn Out;

Photo Credit: Jeanne Masar via Compfight cc

Photo Credit: Jeanne Masar via Compfight cc

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

     7. The Urban League For The Abolition of Food Truck License Requirements;

Photo Credit: ricardodiaz11 via Compfight cc   Photo Credit: ricardodiaz11 via Compfight cc

8. International Middle Class Society In Support of The Legality of (Quality) Counterfeit Brand Name Luxury Goods; 

Photo Credit: pasukaru76 via Compfight cc Photo Credit: pasukaru76 via Compfight cc

9. American Patriotic League for the Abolition of Cheese and/or Vinegar on French Fries; and…..

 Photo Credit: Hen3k Hen3k via Compfight cc Photo Credit: Hen3k Hen3k via Compfight cc

10. Black Card Dining Society for the Prevention of Listing Lobsters on Menus Under Three Pounds.

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And there you have it!  Check in periodically for my newest list!

See you at the ball, princess!

signature xoxox-673345_640 pixabay

 

 

PRINCESS DIANE VON BRAINISFRIED!

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“LIVE YOUR ROYAL LIFE!™”  and if you like what you just read, be a gem & share it!

 

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Kick Your Flagging New Year’s Resolution in the Kiester!

Dear Royal Friends~

We’re a tad past the halfway point of 2015. For some of us, our New Year’s resolutions are as “get-outta-town” as a sheriff in a rowdy saloon.

https://www.flickr.com/photos/cthulhuwho1/6924608803

https://www.flickr.com/photos/cthulhuwho1/6924608803

Why? Because what we resolved to do was difficult! 

It’s not easy to hit the gym at 5am. It’s not easy to become fluent in Flemish.  It’s not easy to quit a nicotine grip.  It’s not easy to stop swillin’ the gin. And it’s certainly not easy to organize a closet the size of the Louvre. (Princess Probz.)

But it’s not usually the starting that’s the problem.  It’s the sticking.

https://www.flickr.com/photos/oskay/254588221

https://www.flickr.com/photos/oskay/254588221

Say for example, your New Year’s resolutions were to shed forty-two pounds and become a vegetarian.  Up until last week, you had lost ten pounds, and you hadn’t had a lick of meat. But here comes another fabulous cocktail party. Oh lookee! You’re  face-to-face with scrumptious little canapes of cheesy thingies with avocado and fried corn do-dads arranged ever-so-beautifully on silver trays passed around by smiling, handsome butlers in white gloves. Oh lookee! More!  There’s beret-sized fungus piled mile high with warm, oozing, buttery bread crumbs and beef, arranged ever-so-beautifully on silver trays, passed around  by smiling, handsome butlers in white gloves….

Stop kicking yourself.  The heckleberries with New Years!  You can start anew any time you want. Every morning is a new chance to start your crowing going.  Just ask the roosters.

Here’s the key: It was  bequeathed to me recently by my princess inner soul-ar powered voice, when I decided to follow the kind of Vegan diet that excludes both animal and vegetable fats.  I thought about eating salad without  EVOO. (Insert frowney face.) I thought, wow, that’s gonna really be difficult. I love me some veggies and salads, and I can’t stand those ersatz zero fat dressings.  All of a sudden a miracle happened better than Miracle Whip. I heard, “Okay princess, get a grip.  Difficult, yeah, but not impossible.”  Bazzzzinga! I’ve been using that little phrase ever since in all sorts of situations. It works. It puts everything into do-ability mode.

The next time you face a challenge to your resolution and it feels really difficult for you to muster the willpower to continue, try looking the challenge square in the eye, which is difficult because eyes are round, and say: “DIFFICULT, BUT NOT IMPOSSIBLE.”  So get outta town!

Bet your bottom butler, or your butler’s bottom, the next time you face a challenge to your resolution and you use this trick,  you’ll sail through it like the mighty powerful princess you are.  Just like a Staples commercial, you’ll slam down your hand on a red button and exclaim, “That was easy!”

tt4np, (ta ta 4 now, princess)

“Live your royal life!

XOXOXOXO

Princess Diane Von Brainisfried

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