YOU ARE RELATED TO ROYALTY & WHY IT MATTERS

Dear Royal Friends,                                                         Did you know you are related to royalty?  Yes it’s true! You may have seen me advocate this principle before, but it’s so important, I want to make sure my new royal friends receive this information and my long-standing fans don’t forget. 

According to my theory,”The Sixth Degree Princess,illustrated below beautifully by my son, Prince Max, and recently proven at the Royal Academy of Brainiacs and Quacks, one way or another we’re all descended from a royal bloodline.  Right side or left, you know who you are. 

 

Why is this theory so important? There’s a magical transformation that takes place when you realize you’re a real princess, as authentic as the kind who wears  a diamond encrusted tiara or sleeps on a mile-high mattress with a little pea. (That’s spelled correctly.) The kind who knows Compassion and Kindness are her middle names. Mine is also Frances. The kind who’s proactively pursuing her bold destiny and carrying out her royal duty to use her gifts and talents to make the world a better place. The kind who knows the power of a smile to brighten the world and gladden a stranger’s heart.

When a person understands that there really is a tiara in her closet, and that her royal roots are not something she acquired at her hair dresser’s, she holds her head higher and walks more assuredly as she moves toward manifesting her destiny.  She awakens to the power of her birthright that is bound up in her sacred duty to explore, unearth and utilize her special gifts and talents to help make her kingdom a more wonderful place in her own, uniquely fabulous way.

So like I’m always hocking you, “Put a tiara in your closet!” Go out there and be the bold and beautiful princess you are!

I’d love to hear what putting a tiara in your closet means to you!  Leave your comments below, princess!

 

XOXOXO,

PRINCESS DIANE  VON BRAINISFRIED

 “Live your royally happy life!™”

 

Seven Princess-worthy Secrets to Comfort Yourself

My Dear Royal Friends, 

Here’s a little secret you might not know.  Even the happiest of happy princesses has bad hair days.  I don’t mean bad hair in the literal sense, as tiaras hide a myriad of sins, but days when she wants to hide under the blankees with her biggest, softest, fluffiest Pooh bear and not come out til tee-time.  

I can hear you all tittering, “She said poo, she said poo!” Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, I want to talk about what to do when your world gets a wee bit a’kilter. I don’t mean a’kilter in the Scottish sense, in which case you could  merely “skirt” the issues.

Let me proffer a couple of examples. Say some mega-rich sheik beat you to the last vacancy at the only stable suitable for your precious steed. Did I mention you’re currently boarding Trigger in your ground floor guest bedroom? Did I mention said bedroom has white marble floors? Did I mention said horse is glucose intolerant?

Perhaps that Rent-A-Runway dress that looked divine on your bestie, but on you the dress looks like a 20-pound sack for organic potatoes.  Did I mention you look like the potatoes? Did I mention you’re hoping Whole Foods sent it?  Did I mention, the party’s tonight? Did I mention you’re trying to impress your “ex?”  Did I mention you’re out of Xanax?  

This stuff can really send a princess to the royal bed chamber for cover. Neve fear. Here are SEVEN TRIED AND TRUE suggestions to help you comfort yourself when you’re having a royally bad hair day.

1. ALLOW YOURSELF A TEN MINUTE PITY PARTY 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

    2.  PIG OUT BUT RESPONSIBLY

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3. VISIT AN ANIMAL SHELTER & CONSIDER ADOPTING A PET

Photo Credit: Jug Jones via Compfight cc

Photo Credit: Jug Jones via Compfight cc

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


    4. CLEAN OUT THE CLOSETS & DONATE STUFF THAT DOESN’T FIT ANYONE ANYMORE 

 

 

 

 

 

5. READ ANY FAIRY TALE TO A CHILD EXCEPT BAMBI

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

6. BITE SOMETHING THAT WON’T BITE BACK

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7.   COOK A NEW RECIPE AND INVITE A FRIEND TO TRY IT

Photo Credit: quinn.anya via Compfight cc

Photo Credit: quinn.anya via Compfight cc

 

I hope these little tips  help you to debunk your funk!   I’d love to hear your ideas too!

hearts-673345_640 pixabay

 

 

PRINCESS DIANE VON BRAINISFRIED!

“LIVE YOUR ROYALLY HAPPY LIFE!™”

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Kick Your Flagging New Year’s Resolution in the Kiester!

Dear Royal Friends~

We’re a tad past the halfway point of 2015. For some of us, our New Year’s resolutions are as “get-outta-town” as a sheriff in a rowdy saloon.

https://www.flickr.com/photos/cthulhuwho1/6924608803

https://www.flickr.com/photos/cthulhuwho1/6924608803

Why? Because what we resolved to do was difficult! 

It’s not easy to hit the gym at 5am. It’s not easy to become fluent in Flemish.  It’s not easy to quit a nicotine grip.  It’s not easy to stop swillin’ the gin. And it’s certainly not easy to organize a closet the size of the Louvre. (Princess Probz.)

But it’s not usually the starting that’s the problem.  It’s the sticking.

https://www.flickr.com/photos/oskay/254588221

https://www.flickr.com/photos/oskay/254588221

Say for example, your New Year’s resolutions were to shed forty-two pounds and become a vegetarian.  Up until last week, you had lost ten pounds, and you hadn’t had a lick of meat. But here comes another fabulous cocktail party. Oh lookee! You’re  face-to-face with scrumptious little canapes of cheesy thingies with avocado and fried corn do-dads arranged ever-so-beautifully on silver trays passed around by smiling, handsome butlers in white gloves. Oh lookee! More!  There’s beret-sized fungus piled mile high with warm, oozing, buttery bread crumbs and beef, arranged ever-so-beautifully on silver trays, passed around  by smiling, handsome butlers in white gloves….

Stop kicking yourself.  The heckleberries with New Years!  You can start anew any time you want. Every morning is a new chance to start your crowing going.  Just ask the roosters.

Here’s the key: It was  bequeathed to me recently by my princess inner soul-ar powered voice, when I decided to follow the kind of Vegan diet that excludes both animal and vegetable fats.  I thought about eating salad without  EVOO. (Insert frowney face.) I thought, wow, that’s gonna really be difficult. I love me some veggies and salads, and I can’t stand those ersatz zero fat dressings.  All of a sudden a miracle happened better than Miracle Whip. I heard, “Okay princess, get a grip.  Difficult, yeah, but not impossible.”  Bazzzzinga! I’ve been using that little phrase ever since in all sorts of situations. It works. It puts everything into do-ability mode.

The next time you face a challenge to your resolution and it feels really difficult for you to muster the willpower to continue, try looking the challenge square in the eye, which is difficult because eyes are round, and say: “DIFFICULT, BUT NOT IMPOSSIBLE.”  So get outta town!

Bet your bottom butler, or your butler’s bottom, the next time you face a challenge to your resolution and you use this trick,  you’ll sail through it like the mighty powerful princess you are.  Just like a Staples commercial, you’ll slam down your hand on a red button and exclaim, “That was easy!”

tt4np, (ta ta 4 now, princess)

“Live your royal life!

XOXOXOXO

Princess Diane Von Brainisfried

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IS A MESSY DESK GIVING YOU A BIG “BUT”?

I decree YOU ARE HERE TO DO ROYALLY GREAT THINGS! As inhabitants of the Kingdom of Von Brainisfried, it is a known fact that you have fabulously unique gifts, talents and callings, for which you were put on earth to discover, pursue and share.  As such, you have a divine duty to deposit these gifts, talents and callings into to the Bank of World Betterment.  (For the sake of transparency, I’m a majorette shareholder.) 

It has come to my attention that some of you do not pursue and share your unique gifts, talents and callings — because you believe you have a “BIG BUT.”

https://pixabay.com/en/elephant-ass-butt-working-677712/

https://pixabay.com/en/elephant-ass-butt-working-677712/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You cry, “Princess, I would write my e-book, “Fifty Shades of World Peace,” BUT my desk is too messy,” or you exclaim, “I would play my violin in the local baker’s union orchestra BUT my dog has fleas,” or you decry, “I would run that 5k ‘Save The Ta Ta’s’  fundraiser BUT I can’t find my pink hat.” 

There are legions of people in the kingdom whose “BIG BUTS” are  getting in the way of the world’s benefiting from their incredible gifts, talents and callings.  Know this: The world is diminished when you don’t share your gifts.  The world is less inspired when you don’t share your gifts. And, you are denying yourself a richer, happier, more turbo-charged  life.  

So what’s stopping you, princess?  

 

Bisous et tra la la,

Xoxoxoxo,

Princess Diane Von Brainisfried

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LIVE YOUR ROYAL LIFE!™