Change your words – Cheer up your life!

Dearest Royal Friends,  

What a glorious time of year it is! Full of glad tidings and good cheer…except when it isn’t. The holiday season arrives and life continues, as do our worries and cares.  The nanny’s at war with her assistant for smuggling in commercial baby food. The chauffeur defected to Uber.  Tiffany’s discontinued your great-great grand mummy’s silver pattern. And “Tommy” the rescue guinea pig you let your little Princess bring home turns out to be Tonya, and she’s pregnant! 

Problems, problems, problems!

What good is it to be bombarded with salutations of good cheer, glad tidings and all that other stuff if it makes us feel like crap when we’re not in a matching mood?  But….why are we not in a matching mood? Half the time it’s because of our own stinkin’ thinkin’.  

Here’s a quick tip to put CHEER back into your life. Become a word chiropractor and make an attitude adjustment.   

Here’s how: The next time you call something a “problem,” call it a “challenge” instead!

I discovered this trick when, as a corporate lawyer, my boss’s boss’s boss asked me to work on a knotty legal issue about which I was absolutely clueless. I started to panic.  I tried and tried to figure it out but nothing was sparking. I knew I couldn’t  give the project back and say, “Sorry dude, this one’s over my head.  And by the way, could I have a raise?” 

Then I had an epiphany! I think I pulled it right out of my ass, because I tell you, I have no idea how this mental game-changer came to me.  I told myself not to use the word “problem” but instead, recast the situation as a “challenge.” That seemingly itty bitty word adjustment practically blew the tiara right off my head. I actually felt a physical change. I felt lighter, as if I had just eaten a bag of feathers. Ptooey! Shortly thereafter,  I figured out a solution to the assignment. Whew!  About that raise, please!

What happened? In my studies and training as a positive psychology life coach, I learned that I had instinctively found a way to put myself in a  positive mindset by what is called “reframing” the situation, which made my mind more resilient and more productive. Who knew!

I encourage you to become a word chiropractor and make an attitude adjustment with your words. Train yourself to use the word “challenge” instead of “problem.”   So, when Tommy turns out to be Tonya, it’s just another day in the funhouse!  Cheers!!!!

XOXOXOX,

PRINCESS DIANE VON BRAINISFRIED

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Hold your tongue-keep your friendships

Dear Royal Friends,     

Our friendships account for a big chunk our happiness currency.

We need to protect them from the damage we can do in a knee-jerk reaction to some perceived or real infraction.

Were you ever just about to indulge in some delightfully decadent dessert, when an inner voice whispered, “Ten minutes on the lips, ten years on the hips?”  Wouldn’t it be fabulous if we had a similar sound “bite” that would give us pause before we lashed out at a friend?  

Here’s one of my favorite sayings that packs more “pause” than a five-legged cat. It goes:  “Least said, soonest mended.”

I understand that sometimes we’re faced with a “straw that broke the camel’s back” moment and we’re mad at a whole bunch of stuff,  and we just want to blow.

Here’s the problem. The salvo might feel good for a moment, but…ten minutes on the lips, ten years on the hips.

“Least said soonest mended.” Try it next time you’re on the brink of ripping your friend a new one. Give yourself the grace of stepping back. Remember what’s at stake. It’s not  just the friendship; it’s also your happiness. 

You can always eat dessert later.

XOXOXO,

PRINCESS DIANE VON BRAINISFRIED

“LIVE YOUR ROYALLY HAPPY LIFE!™”

 

 

Top 3 transformational happiness concepts – I promise to share my takeaway from WOHASU

Dear Princess,

As many of you know I’ve been invited to be a facilitator at next week’s World Happiness Summit in Miami, where I will be schmoozing and elbow bruising with some of the world’s most extraordinary thinkers and happiness experts dedicated to promoting a happier world.

HERE’S MY PROMISE TO YOU: I intend to share with you the next best thing to a free ticket…my takeaway on what I consider the TOP 3 TRANSFORMATIONAL  happiness concepts that I spot at the event!

Do YOU have any positive transformations coming up? I’d LOVE to hear in your COMMENTS BELOW!

XOXOXOX, 

PRINCESS DIANE VON BRAINISFRIED

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                  “Live your royally happy life!™”

Is the Humble Brag the new obnoxious self-promotion

Dear Royal Friends,  

There was a time when humbleness and humility was a noble quality.  Those who resorted to bragging and tooting their own horns were viewed as tacky and obnoxious.  Does Queen Elizabeth get her “rocks” off by bragging about how many diamonds nestle in her diadem? The royal “we” think not. 

Enter the humble brag, a term credited to the late writer Harris Wittels, writer on the TV series “Parcs and Rec.” The humble brag is a brag bomb that’s tightly wrapped in humility like a corn husk tamale. You don’t know the quality of the inside mush until it gets unwrapped.

The humble brag, perforce wrapped in humility, can take you by surprise and leave you wondering whether the person just offered up  insider information on her soul, or slammed you with the goo of obnoxious self-promotion.  poses-1367416_1280

So, what’s the humble bragger’s deal?  I believe she is the person who longs to brag, but is too clever to let it all hang out, and soft enough to care about us liking her.   Thus, she throws the scent off the trail with a booby trap, commonly in the form of a preamble that smells like self-deprication.  But never fear — her musket is loaded.  Further down the road she will blow forth a big fat bombastic brag.

Here’s an example: “Can you believe how stupid I am? I can’t believe I blew the answer to that Jeopardy question.  I just don’t know how they let me into Harvard and I graduated Phi Beta Kappa in three years while I worked full time as a reporter for the Boston Globe.”  Here’s another fine example:  “I thought I looked like crap when I stepped off the plane in Monaco. It’s crazy that I got mobbed by reporters who thought I was Princess Caroline. I don’t know why that always happens to me.” 

If one deconstructs the humble brag, it’s pretty clear that the ammunition employed is the smokescreen of confusion.  She said she was stupid, didn’t she? She said she looked like crap, right?  Golly. I guess she’s can’t be bragging.  

So why should we care whether we can identify if someone is overtly bragging v. covertly humble bragging? I mean,  isn’t it true that all braggers are generally sprinkled with the sediment of insecurity, and thus, as princesses, we must have compassion and show tolerance toward them all, even as we turn up our noses in the stink of it? Yup.  But sitting through a covert bragging jag without throwing up is really, really hard to do. So maybe if we can identify a person as a humble bragger, and not a true high-flying bragger, compassion might be a little easier to find. 

Whereas the obnoxious overt bragger wants to be loved but doesn’t seem to give a crap whom he or she offends, the covert humble bragger is a different animal. These folks seriously want to brag, but they still give it the ole’ college try in trying to be decent about it.  They pray you don’t find the bragging stone under the smooth green softening moss of their alleged self-deprecation. We should give them credit for that.  Does that mean they still can be really likable? Yeah. I think so.

Humble bragging may be the new obnoxious brag, but in the hierarchy of obnoxiousness, it ain’t on the highest rung.  And, perhaps one day, you may have something you are really really proud of, you feel yourself busting at the seams, and you’re pretty sure it’s not gas.   You might find humble bragging is your best shot at letting it out — and still keeping your friends.

                                                                          XOXOXOXO                                                           PRINCESS DIANE VON BRAINISFRIED

“LIVE YOUR ROYALLY HAPPY, RADICALLY FULFILLED, PRINCESS-WORTHY LIFE!™”

THREE WORDS THAT WILL TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE!

Dear Royal Friends, 

I remember reading once that the famous Rabbi Hillel was  asked if he  could teach the Torah while someone was standing on one foot.  His answer was yes.  He said something like, “Don’t treat others in a way you would not want to be treated. The rest is commentary. Now go study.”    Pretty amazing condensation of ideas.  The guy literally invented short and sweet.  The idea expressed in that powerful sentence was life-changing for those who are capable of following the credo.  Whenever I think of Rabbi Hillel, I think of that lesson as being his essence. 

Have you ever challenged  yourself by asking what lesson, what credo do you hold that is the essence of yourself? Something you believe in your inner core that is profound that could change a person in a positive way?  I bet if you thought about it, you would flesh out something really inspiring. 

I encourage you by way of this post,   to think about a premise that you believe is life-changing for the good, and share it with us in the kingdom.   Let us know!  If you are reading this column, you are a person of substance and love.  We in the kingdom want to hear what you have to say that could change the world for the better.  Just start with one idea.  If you thought it, it’s worth reading.

Here’s my big credo. Something that is of my essence:  PRACTICE RADICAL FORGIVENESS.  Dee Nice Photo 1

If you forgive radically, unconditionally, you will change your life and the lives of others.  You will fly light like a bird.  You will know the incredible lightness of being. You will never again drag around the baggage and puss of old grudges.  It’s the most liberating thing you can do for yourself without breaking any laws.  Practicing radical forgiveness does not mean you excuse the other person. It just means you sing the Frozen song and let it go. Not for the other guy, but for you. It releases the forces of revenge.  It breaks cycles of madness. It keeps doors open and let’s people back in.  It kicks the crap out of fear. It’s the singular most powerful force in my universe that supports my smile.  I’d love you to try it and share your thoughts below!

Bisous et tra la la,  

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PRINCESS DIANE VON BRAINISFRIED

 

“LIVE YOUR ROYALLY HAPPY LIFE!™”

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Mind blowing question to live your big bold princess-worthy life!

Dear Royal Friends,

If you are a royal friend of mine, which you are if you’re reading this, you are someone who wants to live a big, bold princess-worthy life. But sometimes it’s really hard to know what your big, bold, princess-worth life is.  And sometimes even if you do know, you’ve either missed the boat, or you never had a snowball’s chance in Hades from achieving it.  And sometimes it’s just too mind-boggling to think about it. Because it’s scary. Maybe you’ll end up looking down a long empty hallway of locked doors, and everybody’s gone home.  

Say you dreamed of becoming an internationally famous NBA basketball star, but there’s one “tiny” problem.  You’re five foot one in fishnet stockings.  red-light-299710_1920

Plus, they don’t have a girl’s locker room.  Plus, you’ve started getting magazines from AARP. You smirk at yourself and your dim, lofty dreams, and in your best smirk voice, you smirk, “You haven’t missed the boat — you’ve missed the ark. Have a nice life, suck-ah! Oh, and by the way, I’ll smirk if I want to.” 

Sometimes, however, it’s not our height, age or sex that’s getting in the way of our big, bold, princess-worthy life.  Sometimes it’s us.  Because we refuse to recalibrate our original dreams to make them fit our authentic, valuable, worthy life that we actually live now that we’ve carved out with people whom we love and who love us.  Tradable for nothing. Because it’s worth everything.  

Guess what? Good news! There’s an alternative dream coming to you that fits your authentic life. Maybe it’s not a perfect dream, but it’s pretay, pratay good.  Entertain this possibility: If you let yourself flow where this new dream takes you, you might find you get some place you never even old-dreamed…and that your life looks better and it’s more meaningful than it would have been had you pursued your original dream!  

So what now?  What happens if we just haven’t ventured out past our Comfort Zone, because we haven’t dared to put thought rays in that direction for a very long time. My royal friends.  I’m here to tell you, don’t be afraid.  There’s a safe place somewhere between Out-On-A-Limb-Throwing-It-All-Away  v. Don’t-Do-A-Darn-Thing-About-An-Old-Dream.

Here’s a little trick I picked up from the Royal House of Haplessburger.  Which is not, by the way, related to a royally hapless burger, which, by the way, as a vegan, I don’t “relish” the thought.  Ask yourself:

WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE IF YOU KNEW YOU COULD NOT FAIL?

This question is worth more than at least one big diamond in my tiara and a small sapphire. Maybe throw in a big fat emerald for good luck. This question will radically bust through the gray matter membrane in your tiara-topped skull to get it jiggling in the right direction.  Once you answer the question, don’t YOU be the one to stand in your way. Don’t YOU be your own worst frenemy.  

You see, there is no failing.  There is just doing. Just adventure. Just a journey. Just a big fat learning curve.  Just a rich and fabulous life on new and endearing and energized terms. You see, half way between wanting to be an NBA star and sitting on the palace stoop with a bag of Veuve Cliquot and a tin pan (hey, it’s a living), there’s something out there for you that you will still LOVE to do, and feel fulfillment in doing, if you would just slap some street cred in the direction of your inner goddess and less credence to your inner critic.  It’s a new look. Only on the inside.  

Here’s the key to the palace: Don’t trap yourself into thinking you have to change jobs, leave your family, quit your life, fill in the blanks.  There’s  a way to pursue your old dream in some form if you will just apply some creative thinking.  Here’s a bonus key to the palace: Throw away your all or nothing mentality.  That is one of the biggest moat traps you can fall into.  There are some real crocodiles waiting there to thwart your big, bold, princess-worthy life.

So you. You with the fishnets and the hearing aids. Yeah you. Go ahead. Organize a basketball team in your area.  Maybe it becomes recognized state wide and beyond. You start raising some serious funds for a really BIG cause.  You blog about it. Others blog about it.  I’m already hearing some serious buzz…ET calls you. Hooray! You’re a Princess Hero Basketball Super Star!  You’ve even got your own private locker room!

You can do it my royal friends….I bid you good luck!  Get out there and live your big, bold princess-worthy lives!

bisous et tra la la,

 

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Princess Diane Von Brainisfried

 

Queen Elizabeth proves she’s not all washed up!

Dear Royal Friends,                                                                            

Today Queen Elizabeth has grabbed the title as the UK’s longest “raining” monarch, proving once again that she’s not all “washed” up, and knocking Queen Victoria off that perch.  

It’s a marvel how the Queen has hung in there for over 63 years, continuously doing her queenly thing with great poise and “aplomb” …queen-595685_640

…even though she’s told me on numerous occasions that she prefers pears!

It’s hard to believe that Queen Elizabeth, now 89,  was a mere 25 years old when she ascended to the throne;  that’s because in modern terms, 25 is the new 12.

Princess Elizabeth became Queen Elizabeth on Feb. 6, 1952 after her father, George VI, passed away.   George VI was that handsome  fellow in the movie The King’s Speech, whose challenge with stuttering made him not quite so chipper to cover for his brother, Edward. 

You may recall how George was thrust into king-dom rather shockingly, when his older bro, Edward the Eighth, chucked it all in 1936 to marry Wallis Simpson, an American divorcee cum Coco Chanel doppelgänger.  It is rumored that is how the term, “behind the eight ball” came about.  It is also rumored that Simpson is the latent muse behind the current Capitol One Credit card commercial, “What’s in your wallis.” 

It’s no secret that the Queen’s reign has weathered family drama more rocky than the Adirondacks.  Throughout, she has remained classy and stalwart.  

The Queen embodies what I believe to be the secret to being real nobility, which is service to others.  In a 1957 television transmission, she proclaimed: 

“I cannot lead you into battle. I do not give you laws or administer justice. But I can do something else. I can give you my heart and my devotion to these old islands and to all the peoples of our brotherhood of nations.”

I leave you with this inspired thought: If you’re a princess or a queen, be like Queen Elizabeth and don’t save your heart and service for a “rainy” day.   Let it shine every day, baby, let it shine.

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PRINCESS DIANE VON BRAINISFRIED!

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How To Handle Your Daily Little Frustrations

Bonjour my royal friends!

If you are anything like me, sometimes life’s little daily frustrations make me a little more “brain-is-fried” than a princess ought to be.  Recently, I saw an interview by Diane Sawyer with Olympic Gold Medalist Bruce Jenner, which gave me a completely new outlook on daily frustrations.  I hope this video gives you fresh eyes to cope with the inevitable little frustrations and itty bitty stresses and strains that visit us on a daily basis.

Click here to see videoHow To Handle Your Little Daily Frustrations

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Ta ta for now, princess

XOXOXOXOXO

PRINCESS DIANE VON BRAINISFRIED

“LIVE YOUR ROYAL LIFE!™”

 

HOW SAILING LESSONS TAUGHT ME TO HANDLE BITCHY & BALLSY PEOPLE

Most princesses worth their salt (water) have taken sailing lessons at one point or another. I took them when I was a teenager at our family’s yacht club by the beach.   I learned on a Robin, a Tiffany blue boat about the size and shape of claw-footed bathtub.

weel-245627_640That photo above is not of a Robin.  I don’t know her name, either.

I was a much better sailor on paper than I was in practice. That’s a good thing if you like A’s and gold stars, a bad thing if you just paid for an expensive blowout. 

Many of the sailing rules I learned ended up being transferable as sage and practical life lessons.  I’d like to share one of my favorite sailing lessons cum life lessons with you today: 

“When the waves get choppy, don’t sail into them head on; sail into the waves at an angle.”               

If you sail into waves head on, your sailboat’s probably gonna shake, rattle and roll, bob up and down, and the bow of your boat may get buried under the crested, crashing water. Whether you go under will depend on many variables such as the force of the wave, the size of your boat, the speed of your boat, the speed of wave, the size of the wave, the force of the wind, the skill of the sailor, etc.  

Likewise, when navigating people who are behaving like agitated waves, whether categorically cantankerous, habitually hot-headed, or temporarily touchy, it’s better to avoid heading straight ahead into their stormy behavior. Heading straight into them is not the most effective and safe way to negotiate their “waves.”  Instead, take a tack. Respond at an angle. 

Humor is one of the best methods to respond with an angled approach to a person acting like a choppy wave.   For example, I recently visited an ill relative in the hospital.  She was in a lousy mood, understandably, and not very hungry,  understandably.  The “catch of the day” was  a suspicious platter resembling eggplant parmesan.   The aid was concerned that my relative wasn’t eating enough, and repeatedly asked how the “eggplant parmesan” was.  My relative became angry at feeling badgered, and finally let the aid have it.  “You wanna know how the food is? It’s crap! Total crap! CRAP times two!”  Instead of shooting back a retort such as, “Then I’m just gonna let you starve!,” the aid  burst out laughing.  So did my relative.  She thereupon finished her platter of suspicious Double Crap, without so much as requesting more sauce.  “Red right return.” ***

Here’s another trick. It’s useful for avoiding head on responses to potentially incindary questions.  Let’s say, for example, you’re on a first date, you’re sitting at the bar and you’re already smitten: He’s handsome, he’s rich, he’s royal, and the dude’s just ordered Veuve Cliquot — Yellow label!    You’re committed! Insanely committed!  Your prince turns to you and asks, “Say, do you watch Fox News?” Ohhh nooo!  It’s a trap!!!! 

It’s clear that you’ve got a 50/50 chance of becoming Double Crap Eggplant.  But you don’t know which 50!!!

Here’s the solution. Remember the sailing lesson?  Don’t aim head on into the wave!  Instead, angle in with a statement like, “Ha! Don’t get me started!”  Then drop a fork on the ground and show some cleavage.  You’re too smart a princess to get sunk by that wave, suhkkah! At least not before you get to the lighthouse.  “Red right return!” ***

It takes some mental agility and forbearance to really work these principles, but practice makes prudent.  

I promise to share more sailing lessons from my yacht club days in my forthcoming book and courses.  In the meantime, “red right return!” ***

“LIVE YOUR ROYAL LIFE!™”

 XOXOXOX

PRINCESS DIANE VON BRAINISFRIED

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PRINCESS PUN DAY! Hang On To Your Yoga Mats

IT’S PRINCESS PUN DAY! Hang on to your yoga mats…

QUESTION: How many gurus does one need to screw in a light bulb?!

ANSWER: None, because…they’re already enlightened! OR

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…I don’t know. It depends on how heavy they are!!!

HAVE A HAPPY DOUBLE PUN DAY!

“LIVE YOUR ROYAL LIFE!™”

XOXOXOXOXXO

PRINCESS DIANE VON BRAINISFRIED

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