Top Ten Things my Dog is grateful for – a dog’s “tail”

Dear Royal Friends,

Thanksgiving always brings us around to thinking about what we are thankful for.  For me that includes family, friends, shelter, food, the grace to pursue dreams, talents and goals….and my Frenchie, Princess Lalo.  Lalo with princess crown-larger

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I got to thinking; what is Princess Lalo grateful for?  I decided to ask  her this morning.  Her response? “I thought you’d never ask!” 

This Thanksgiving, I bring you:

PRINCESS LALO’S TOP TEN “WHAT I’M THANKFUL FORS”

1.People who let me lick their faces when I have bad breath

2. Being fat makes me even cuter

3. Wearing a leash and no one thinking I’m into S & M

 4. Sleeping most of the day and still feeling productive

5. When someone passes gas and doesn’t blame it on me

6. Cucumbers,  green peppers, cooked carrots & air popped popcorn

7. Being the editor of Princess Diane Von Brainisfried’s blog 

8. Not getting kicked out of my parents’  bed when I snore 

9. Playing tug-o’-war with the rope instead of catch (because I’m lazy)

10. Mommy and me matching tiaras!

  What is your pet grateful for?  Let us know!

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HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL MY ROYAL FRIENDS!

PRINCESS DIANE VON BRAINISFRIED!

“LIVE YOUR ROYALLY HAPPY LIFE!™”

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Monday Princess Pun Day Woohoo! Why I’m All Keyed Up!

DEAR ROYAL FRIENDS,

If the days spent in your palace are anything like mine, there are constant festivities which include the use of musical instruments.  There’s absolutely no use for a palace without lots and lots of noise.  Of course the mainstay of musical instruments is the wooden-legged,  monolith called a piano.girl-711087_1280

Those of you familiar with this glorious instrument, know that there is a certain amount of diligent upkeep required to keep the piano on key. It is often exceedingly difficult and frustrating to find a trusted person to “perform” this task.  Well Hallelujah Chorus! I’ve finally found the solution to this dis-“concert”-ing  problem!  Get Yee to a Brooklyn fish market!                                                                                                      

You are probably wondering, “Princess Diane Von Brainisfried, why would I find someone to keep my piano on key at a Brooklyn fish market?”  Answer: Because there you will find your pick of “piano tunas!” 

Final “note”:  A finely tuned piano is one of the best motivators for working hard on your “scales.”

Happy Monday Princess Pun Day! hearts-673345_640 pixabay

PRINCESS DIANE  VON BRAINISFRIED

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Happy Princess Pun Day! Me? Ow!

Dear Royal Friends,

LE QUESTION: Why did the New York City apartment cat run away in fear to his friends living in the next door apartment (pond), when his owners declared they were going on a family vacation to the mountains and they intended to bring him along? kitty-curious-788534_640

LA REPONSE:   Because he went completely “quackers” when his owners told the kitty they were taking him on a  trip up to the “Cats-kill” Mountains!

HAPPY PRINCESS PUN DAY!

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PRINCESS DIANE VON BRAINISFRIED!

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FIND OUT HOW YOU’RE DEFINITELY RELATED TO ROYALTY!

Dear Royal Friends,

Did you know you are related to royalty too?  Yes indeedy!  You may have seen me advocate this principal before, but I believe it’s so important that I’d like to share it with you again for reinforcement.

According to the indisputable and globally recognized theory of the “Sixth Degree Princess™,” you too are a valuable member of the tiara totin’ tribe!

 In conjunction with this announcement, the palace press office is once again reissuing the official royal diagram illustrating this principle.  As shown below in the diagram by the charming and handsome Prince Max, whether you’re a devout believer in a Supreme Being, an atheist, an agnostic, or you’re not even sure you actually exist, the  Six Degree Princess Theory™ applies to you! 

THE OFFICIAL ROYAL DIAGRAM: THEORY OF THE “SIXTH DEGREE PRINCESS™”

OFFICIAL ROYAL DIAGRAM: THEORY OF THE SIXTH DEGREE PRINCESS™

Why does being related to royalty make a difference?  There’s something magical that happens when you realize you’re a princess. A real princess! The kind that wears tiaras and sleeps on mile high mattresses with a little pea under them (but not a little pea on them.)  You hold your head higher, your walk is more graceful,  expectations for yourself become greater, and you begin thinking about how you can use your newfound connections and power for the greater good.  Best of all, finally you’ll have a place to wear your tiara other than a Halloween parade!  

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https://pixabay.com/en/queen-royalty-royal-monarch-914877/

It is my fervent wish for you, with the glory and grace of royalty as your rightful claim, you  go out there every day and kick up some royal dust under those gilded heels, follow your passionate porpoise, and be as kind as you can while doing so.  To wit, have yourself a palace pant load of fun and do everything you can to  “LIVE YOR ROYALLY HAPPY LIFE!™ ”   

Follow me, dahhhling, and I’ll do everything I can to help you!                                                              

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PRINCESS DIANE  VON BRAINISFRIED

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Palace Acorn Squash Recipe Revealed

Dear Royal Friends, 

I just came back from my walk on this glorious fall day and the thought occurred to me that you might enjoy taking a peek at an ancient  autumn recipe for Acorn Squash that’s been passed down at the palace for centuries.  We at the palace know that autumn has officially arrived when the smell of this glorious dish is wafting through the corridors.  This dish is sure to warm the cockles of your heart, and I don’t have to tell you,  warm  cockles is a darn good thing. Here, for the first time in history, this ancient recipe is being revealed.  Enjoy your Autumn days!

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PRINCESS DIANE VON BRAINISFRIED!

 

“LIVE YOUR ROYALLY HAPPY LIFE!™”

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Seven Princess-worthy Secrets to Comfort Yourself

My Dear Royal Friends, 

Here’s a little secret you might not know.  Even the happiest of happy princesses has bad hair days.  I don’t mean bad hair in the literal sense, as tiaras hide a myriad of sins, but days when she wants to hide under the blankees with her biggest, softest, fluffiest Pooh bear and not come out til tee-time.  

I can hear you all tittering, “She said poo, she said poo!” Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, I want to talk about what to do when your world gets a wee bit a’kilter. I don’t mean a’kilter in the Scottish sense, in which case you could  merely “skirt” the issues.

Let me proffer a couple of examples. Say some mega-rich sheik beat you to the last vacancy at the only stable suitable for your precious steed. Did I mention you’re currently boarding Trigger in your ground floor guest bedroom? Did I mention said bedroom has white marble floors? Did I mention said horse is glucose intolerant?

Perhaps that Rent-A-Runway dress that looked divine on your bestie, but on you the dress looks like a 20-pound sack for organic potatoes.  Did I mention you look like the potatoes? Did I mention you’re hoping Whole Foods sent it?  Did I mention, the party’s tonight? Did I mention you’re trying to impress your “ex?”  Did I mention you’re out of Xanax?  

This stuff can really send a princess to the royal bed chamber for cover. Neve fear. Here are SEVEN TRIED AND TRUE suggestions to help you comfort yourself when you’re having a royally bad hair day.

1. ALLOW YOURSELF A TEN MINUTE PITY PARTY 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

    2.  PIG OUT BUT RESPONSIBLY

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3. VISIT AN ANIMAL SHELTER & CONSIDER ADOPTING A PET

Photo Credit: Jug Jones via Compfight cc

Photo Credit: Jug Jones via Compfight cc

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


    4. CLEAN OUT THE CLOSETS & DONATE STUFF THAT DOESN’T FIT ANYONE ANYMORE 

 

 

 

 

 

5. READ ANY FAIRY TALE TO A CHILD EXCEPT BAMBI

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

6. BITE SOMETHING THAT WON’T BITE BACK

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7.   COOK A NEW RECIPE AND INVITE A FRIEND TO TRY IT

Photo Credit: quinn.anya via Compfight cc

Photo Credit: quinn.anya via Compfight cc

 

I hope these little tips  help you to debunk your funk!   I’d love to hear your ideas too!

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PRINCESS DIANE VON BRAINISFRIED!

“LIVE YOUR ROYALLY HAPPY LIFE!™”

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Queen Elizabeth proves she’s not all washed up!

Dear Royal Friends,                                                                            

Today Queen Elizabeth has grabbed the title as the UK’s longest “raining” monarch, proving once again that she’s not all “washed” up, and knocking Queen Victoria off that perch.  

It’s a marvel how the Queen has hung in there for over 63 years, continuously doing her queenly thing with great poise and “aplomb” …queen-595685_640

…even though she’s told me on numerous occasions that she prefers pears!

It’s hard to believe that Queen Elizabeth, now 89,  was a mere 25 years old when she ascended to the throne;  that’s because in modern terms, 25 is the new 12.

Princess Elizabeth became Queen Elizabeth on Feb. 6, 1952 after her father, George VI, passed away.   George VI was that handsome  fellow in the movie The King’s Speech, whose challenge with stuttering made him not quite so chipper to cover for his brother, Edward. 

You may recall how George was thrust into king-dom rather shockingly, when his older bro, Edward the Eighth, chucked it all in 1936 to marry Wallis Simpson, an American divorcee cum Coco Chanel doppelgänger.  It is rumored that is how the term, “behind the eight ball” came about.  It is also rumored that Simpson is the latent muse behind the current Capitol One Credit card commercial, “What’s in your wallis.” 

It’s no secret that the Queen’s reign has weathered family drama more rocky than the Adirondacks.  Throughout, she has remained classy and stalwart.  

The Queen embodies what I believe to be the secret to being real nobility, which is service to others.  In a 1957 television transmission, she proclaimed: 

“I cannot lead you into battle. I do not give you laws or administer justice. But I can do something else. I can give you my heart and my devotion to these old islands and to all the peoples of our brotherhood of nations.”

I leave you with this inspired thought: If you’re a princess or a queen, be like Queen Elizabeth and don’t save your heart and service for a “rainy” day.   Let it shine every day, baby, let it shine.

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PRINCESS DIANE VON BRAINISFRIED!

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“LIVE YOUR ROYAL LIFE!™”  and if you like what you just read, be a gem & share it!

Woo hoo it’s princess pun day! – Princess Intelligence

“Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change.”                

                                — Stephen Hawking      

“Royal intelligence is the ability to adapt to change….

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… and spend it.”                                                                                

               — Princess Diane Von Brainisfried 

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PRINCESS DIANE VON BRAINISFRIED!

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“LIVE YOUR ROYAL LIFE!™” 

 

               

 

 

WOOHOO IT’S PRINCESS PUN DAY – astronomer princesses

Dear Royal Friends, 

For all you astronomer princesses out there who may have had a craving for adventure, and you braved the elements to follow that craving, traveling far and way outside your comfort zone to that lone place in the universe called “Mars,” we here at Princess Diane Von Brainisfried understand that you were compelled to do what you needed to do. Don’t feel guilty for taking yourself away from the world for a respite, for the comfort of solitude. Know that you are not “nuts.” Some things just need to be done, and you need to do them.  And, like mountains that we climb merely because they are there, we understand that you astronomer princesses sometimes go to Mars merely because it is there.  Do not beat yourself up. You will come back to earthly reality in your own time. We know, at the end of the day and when all is said and done,  your journey was long and it was hard, but whatever else it was, it was  nothing to be “Snickered” at. 

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https://pixabay.com/en/snickers-candy-bar-chocolate-461898/

HAPPY PRINCESS PUN DAY!

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PRINCESS DIANE VON BRAINISFRIED!

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“LIVE YOUR ROYAL LIFE!™”

 

CLOSET PRINCESS – the most important secret inside a princess closet

Dear Royal Friends,

There’s nothing like the dream of a fabulous closet to bring out the princess in all of us.  As a newbie princess, I was curious to know what the most important secret in a princess closet might be.  To that end, I travelled to palaces and castles around the world.

 I must admit, I had some preconceived notions of what  that secret might be.  Little red velvet pillows to store tiaras?  Nope. Too cliche.  The popular color is lavender trimmed with gold fringe and four corners of gold tassels. Who knew? Glass slipper shoe trees?  Not many of those puppies around anymore. Glass has been replaced with lucite, and the trees bit the dust.

Then it occurred to me.  A princess is kind and generous….that’s it! The biggest princess closet secret is a deep recycle bin! I was right!  A real princess opens her closet to others and shares!  If one of the biggest closet perks of being a princess is a pant load of glamorous gowns, day outfits, purses, jewelry, tiaras and wraps, then the second biggest perk is being able to “wrap” that love around!  Every single princess I talked to shared this sentiment.  Most of them had a favorite charity or cause to donate to, say for proms, or for women interviewing for jobs or already in the workforce.  Of course they also passed a few of their favorites on to a little sister, a big sister, (or brother) or a royally good friend.  

Do you have some beautiful dresses or accessories that you could recycle for a some woman who could use them and who would appreciate their charm and the good karma that came with it? There are so many wonderful organizations that help other women to look amazing and feel confident for their proms, or when interviewing for a job or just trying to make it in the work force. Finding one of these organizations that will become a personal favorite of yours is merely a google a way. Wouldn’t you know, there’s even one called The Princess Project!!  

So princesses, let’s pull a few amazing pieces out of our closets and see if we can’t spread the joy, the love and the glam… and at the same time make room for more! It’s the most fabulous makeover we can do for your closet  besides a special shelf for the lily pad that some princesses had bronzed–

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https://pixabay.com/en/frog-water-lily-pond-green-water-812833/

–the one upon which they found their Prince Charming.  Now that one, I didn’t see coming. 

TT4NP! Ta ta for now Princess, 

XOXOXOXOX

“LIVE YOUR ROYAL LIFE!™”