Even now, do you secretly worry about being cool?

Hi Royal Friends,

Do you secretly worry about being cool? You might assume that only teens get swept up into this kind of pressure. Not necessarily.


Just as teens experience pressure to become  part of the “in crowd,” or to buy the  “right” purse, or perhaps cringe when mom picks them up from school in an old clunker, anxiety about being cool can shadow us into adulthood like a grease stain on a white blouse.   But it doesn’t have to be that way.

 If we learn to focus on our unique royal essence and our own  precious worth, if we understand how each of us already makes a difference in the world for the better and build on that, we begin to realize how traditional coolness is superfluous.  It’s based on our perceptions of what other people think is cool.  The common cool.  The common cool is just that: common.  But we are not common. We are princesses.  And princesses have a duty to make a difference in the world for the better. That’s our cool factor.

As soon as we focus on what we can  contribute to the world, either through an enthusiastic passion (a hobby, our work, a project) and/or through our everyday doings ( a smile, a good word, a kind deed), our anxieties about becoming cool melt away. Because it just won’t be relevant anymore to our self worth.

Check out  a post here, by Maggie di Pasquale, a wonderfully smart young woman who mentors teens and tweens who addressed this issue on her blog.  Her marvelous advice is just as sage for grown ups. 

In Maggie’s words, “Stop putting pressure on yourself to be cool and start figuring out who you are.”  I can’t agree with her more.  

Go out there and live, laugh, love your royally happy life!





Dear Royal Friends, 

I remember reading once that the famous Rabbi Hillel was  asked if he  could teach the Torah while someone was standing on one foot.  His answer was yes.  He said something like, “Don’t treat others in a way you would not want to be treated. The rest is commentary. Now go study.”    Pretty amazing condensation of ideas.  The guy literally invented short and sweet.  The idea expressed in that powerful sentence was life-changing for those who are capable of following the credo.  Whenever I think of Rabbi Hillel, I think of that lesson as being his essence. 

Have you ever challenged  yourself by asking what lesson, what credo do you hold that is the essence of yourself? Something you believe in your inner core that is profound that could change a person in a positive way?  I bet if you thought about it, you would flesh out something really inspiring. 

I encourage you by way of this post,   to think about a premise that you believe is life-changing for the good, and share it with us in the kingdom.   Let us know!  If you are reading this column, you are a person of substance and love.  We in the kingdom want to hear what you have to say that could change the world for the better.  Just start with one idea.  If you thought it, it’s worth reading.

Here’s my big credo. Something that is of my essence:  PRACTICE RADICAL FORGIVENESS.  Dee Nice Photo 1

If you forgive radically, unconditionally, you will change your life and the lives of others.  You will fly light like a bird.  You will know the incredible lightness of being. You will never again drag around the baggage and puss of old grudges.  It’s the most liberating thing you can do for yourself without breaking any laws.  Practicing radical forgiveness does not mean you excuse the other person. It just means you sing the Frozen song and let it go. Not for the other guy, but for you. It releases the forces of revenge.  It breaks cycles of madness. It keeps doors open and let’s people back in.  It kicks the crap out of fear. It’s the singular most powerful force in my universe that supports my smile.  I’d love you to try it and share your thoughts below!

Bisous et tra la la,  

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Mind blowing question to live your big bold princess-worthy life!

Dear Royal Friends,

If you are a royal friend of mine, which you are if you’re reading this, you are someone who wants to live a big, bold princess-worthy life. But sometimes it’s really hard to know what your big, bold, princess-worth life is.  And sometimes even if you do know, you’ve either missed the boat, or you never had a snowball’s chance in Hades from achieving it.  And sometimes it’s just too mind-boggling to think about it. Because it’s scary. Maybe you’ll end up looking down a long empty hallway of locked doors, and everybody’s gone home.  

Say you dreamed of becoming an internationally famous NBA basketball star, but there’s one “tiny” problem.  You’re five foot one in fishnet stockings.  red-light-299710_1920

Plus, they don’t have a girl’s locker room.  Plus, you’ve started getting magazines from AARP. You smirk at yourself and your dim, lofty dreams, and in your best smirk voice, you smirk, “You haven’t missed the boat — you’ve missed the ark. Have a nice life, suck-ah! Oh, and by the way, I’ll smirk if I want to.” 

Sometimes, however, it’s not our height, age or sex that’s getting in the way of our big, bold, princess-worthy life.  Sometimes it’s us.  Because we refuse to recalibrate our original dreams to make them fit our authentic, valuable, worthy life that we actually live now that we’ve carved out with people whom we love and who love us.  Tradable for nothing. Because it’s worth everything.  

Guess what? Good news! There’s an alternative dream coming to you that fits your authentic life. Maybe it’s not a perfect dream, but it’s pretay, pratay good.  Entertain this possibility: If you let yourself flow where this new dream takes you, you might find you get some place you never even old-dreamed…and that your life looks better and it’s more meaningful than it would have been had you pursued your original dream!  

So what now?  What happens if we just haven’t ventured out past our Comfort Zone, because we haven’t dared to put thought rays in that direction for a very long time. My royal friends.  I’m here to tell you, don’t be afraid.  There’s a safe place somewhere between Out-On-A-Limb-Throwing-It-All-Away  v. Don’t-Do-A-Darn-Thing-About-An-Old-Dream.

Here’s a little trick I picked up from the Royal House of Haplessburger.  Which is not, by the way, related to a royally hapless burger, which, by the way, as a vegan, I don’t “relish” the thought.  Ask yourself:


This question is worth more than at least one big diamond in my tiara and a small sapphire. Maybe throw in a big fat emerald for good luck. This question will radically bust through the gray matter membrane in your tiara-topped skull to get it jiggling in the right direction.  Once you answer the question, don’t YOU be the one to stand in your way. Don’t YOU be your own worst frenemy.  

You see, there is no failing.  There is just doing. Just adventure. Just a journey. Just a big fat learning curve.  Just a rich and fabulous life on new and endearing and energized terms. You see, half way between wanting to be an NBA star and sitting on the palace stoop with a bag of Veuve Cliquot and a tin pan (hey, it’s a living), there’s something out there for you that you will still LOVE to do, and feel fulfillment in doing, if you would just slap some street cred in the direction of your inner goddess and less credence to your inner critic.  It’s a new look. Only on the inside.  

Here’s the key to the palace: Don’t trap yourself into thinking you have to change jobs, leave your family, quit your life, fill in the blanks.  There’s  a way to pursue your old dream in some form if you will just apply some creative thinking.  Here’s a bonus key to the palace: Throw away your all or nothing mentality.  That is one of the biggest moat traps you can fall into.  There are some real crocodiles waiting there to thwart your big, bold, princess-worthy life.

So you. You with the fishnets and the hearing aids. Yeah you. Go ahead. Organize a basketball team in your area.  Maybe it becomes recognized state wide and beyond. You start raising some serious funds for a really BIG cause.  You blog about it. Others blog about it.  I’m already hearing some serious buzz…ET calls you. Hooray! You’re a Princess Hero Basketball Super Star!  You’ve even got your own private locker room!

You can do it my royal friends….I bid you good luck!  Get out there and live your big, bold princess-worthy lives!

bisous et tra la la,


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Princess Diane Von Brainisfried


Top 5 regrets of people on their deathbed.

Dear Royal Friends,  

 Thank you for all of you who rsvp’d!

 If you’re into happiness, you gotta learn what makes for a regret.  Because if you don’t know what you are going to regret, if you don’t know what will make you really sad if you don’t get the job done while you are alive, then you’re not really living to your happiest, most magical, most magnificent, meaningful potential. winter-999972_1920-2

My loyal royal fans know in addition to my royal duties around the kingdom,  I’ve become a Certified Positive Psychology Life Coach.

Happiness Mini Workshop in Sommerville NJ from 6 to 7:30 PM this Thursday, January 21st   and I am going to help you figure out how not to live with a big fat regret on your death bed.  (I don’t know about you, but I hope that bed has gorgeous sheets!)

How…..come to the mini workshop and find out! Dr. Jen Redmond, NET certified Holistic Chiropractor, will also be giving a super duper fun demonstration of techniques to kick your new year into happier, healthier high gear!

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When: Thursday January 21 from 6:00 to 7:30 PM         Where: Samsara Chiropractic Wellness Center 1 Eastern Ave, Second Floor    East, Somerville, NJ 08876




Dear Royal Friends, 

If you had a magic wand and could look into the future to see if you would lead a happy life, wouldn’t that be cool? For some of us, heckles freckles yeah. For others of us, not so much. Well what if we could have the next best thing. Or, scratch that, a better thing. What if we had the wisdom under our wings to make the changes NOW that we need to make, that could give us a better shot at a happy life.  


Well wouldn’t you know it – this princess has your back.  I’ve linked to an article that is written by the fourth director of a Harvard study that followed the lives of a group of men continuously for 75 years.  And the study continues!  Thankfully the study answers questions that really mean something, that can change your life.  One such question reveals the secret of a happy life. The secret comes not in what these men say, but what their lives look like. Who dies, who doesn’t, and why.  Who stays mentally strong, who doesn’t.  Because a person could say he loves arsenic, and that arsenic is the secret to a happy life, but guess what?  His lips say yes yes, but there’s no no in his eyes.

Here’s a hint: the secret to a happy life is not fame, and it’s not fortune.

Do yourself a favor and read the article.  Then think about where you might be able to recalibrate your focus so you can start to build yourself a life that’s not made of sand castles.  You can read the article here. http://www.dailygood.org/story/1196/what-makes-a-good-life-robert-waldinger/

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Dear Royal Friends,  

With all my heart I wish you abundant happiness for a fab-YOU-licious New Year.   And I’m not just blowing smoke up your assignment!   I’ve got some royally fantastic, researched-backed information to help make my wish for you come true.  YES, THAT’S RIGHT, did you know there’s a laundry list out there that’s not for wash day, but for a happier life?  I know that may sound like a stretch…using the words “laundry” and “happier life” in the same sentence, that is. 

Photo Credit: Tiago Zaniratti via Compfight cc

Photo Credit: Tiago Zaniratti via Compfight cc

As for the idea that royally happy people might share some common attributes, they absolutely do.  

Sonia Lyubomirsky, in  The How of Happiness, has researched  and put together a list of ten things the happiest people do.  I bet you’re already doing some of them!  If you are, or even if you’re not, everyone can do a little something to up their happiness factor.  Why not take a clue from the experts at happiness and make it  part of your New Year’s resolution to UP YOURS! 

How to take action to boost your happiness quotient?  Do more of what’s tried and true on this laundry list.  If you do, be prepared to wash away some  frowns and clean up some smiles.


– Devote time to relationships

– Express gratitude and offer help to those who need it

– Practice optimism

– Cope effectively with difficult experiences and emotions

– Get regular exercise

– Savor life’s pleasures AND commit deeply to the pursuit of life-long          goals

Happy New Year’s Resolution-ing!  


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Queen Elizabeth proves she’s not all washed up!

Dear Royal Friends,                                                                            

Today Queen Elizabeth has grabbed the title as the UK’s longest “raining” monarch, proving once again that she’s not all “washed” up, and knocking Queen Victoria off that perch.  

It’s a marvel how the Queen has hung in there for over 63 years, continuously doing her queenly thing with great poise and “aplomb” …queen-595685_640

…even though she’s told me on numerous occasions that she prefers pears!

It’s hard to believe that Queen Elizabeth, now 89,  was a mere 25 years old when she ascended to the throne;  that’s because in modern terms, 25 is the new 12.

Princess Elizabeth became Queen Elizabeth on Feb. 6, 1952 after her father, George VI, passed away.   George VI was that handsome  fellow in the movie The King’s Speech, whose challenge with stuttering made him not quite so chipper to cover for his brother, Edward. 

You may recall how George was thrust into king-dom rather shockingly, when his older bro, Edward the Eighth, chucked it all in 1936 to marry Wallis Simpson, an American divorcee cum Coco Chanel doppelgänger.  It is rumored that is how the term, “behind the eight ball” came about.  It is also rumored that Simpson is the latent muse behind the current Capitol One Credit card commercial, “What’s in your wallis.” 

It’s no secret that the Queen’s reign has weathered family drama more rocky than the Adirondacks.  Throughout, she has remained classy and stalwart.  

The Queen embodies what I believe to be the secret to being real nobility, which is service to others.  In a 1957 television transmission, she proclaimed: 

“I cannot lead you into battle. I do not give you laws or administer justice. But I can do something else. I can give you my heart and my devotion to these old islands and to all the peoples of our brotherhood of nations.”

I leave you with this inspired thought: If you’re a princess or a queen, be like Queen Elizabeth and don’t save your heart and service for a “rainy” day.   Let it shine every day, baby, let it shine.

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Dear Royal Friends,                                                                                 EVERYONE who’s anyone,  or at least someone who is anyone, has heard of charity balls such as THE MET GALA,  MOMA’S ARMORY GALA and THE TRIBECA BALL.  They are three of New York’s hottest charity shindigs. They’re what “insiders” call, “AVBD” (A Very Big Deal).  These are the charities that literally beat down doors to position la creme de la creme of society on their boards for support.  Why do you think my palace doors are made of iron? Exactly.

Despite their heavily pedigreed boards, famously “hot” charities such as these aren’t the only gala games in town.  There are numerous princess-worthy charities that are poised to be peppered with well-heeled civic-minded hob-nobbers that will be a perfect fit for a princess’s proud patronage! 

After much head-scratching (which is a bit tricky wearing a tiara), here is my list of TOP 10 COOL, UP & COMING 501C 3’s every princess should support.  These relatively obscure charities are  über cool.  If you want to be known as a leader in the princess pack, get on the band wagon now!  They are, in neither ascending nor descending order of importance:

 1. The New York Society For The Support of Orphaned Werewolves;



2. The International Organization for the Abolishment of Abused Rodeo Clowns;



3. New Jersey Society for the Rehabilitation of Ubiquitous and Nondescript  Diners;



 4. The New York League for the Aid of Anxious Frogs Or Toads Because No One Seems To Know The Difference; 








5. The New York & LA Society for The Prevention of Fallen Cheek Implants;









6. The International Organization for the Aid of Beauty Pageant Burn Out;

Photo Credit: Jeanne Masar via Compfight cc

Photo Credit: Jeanne Masar via Compfight cc












     7. The Urban League For The Abolition of Food Truck License Requirements;

Photo Credit: ricardodiaz11 via Compfight cc   Photo Credit: ricardodiaz11 via Compfight cc

8. International Middle Class Society In Support of The Legality of (Quality) Counterfeit Brand Name Luxury Goods; 

Photo Credit: pasukaru76 via Compfight cc Photo Credit: pasukaru76 via Compfight cc

9. American Patriotic League for the Abolition of Cheese and/or Vinegar on French Fries; and…..

 Photo Credit: Hen3k Hen3k via Compfight cc Photo Credit: Hen3k Hen3k via Compfight cc

10. Black Card Dining Society for the Prevention of Listing Lobsters on Menus Under Three Pounds.

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And there you have it!  Check in periodically for my newest list!

See you at the ball, princess!

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CLOSET PRINCESS – the most important secret inside a princess closet

Dear Royal Friends,

There’s nothing like the dream of a fabulous closet to bring out the princess in all of us.  As a newbie princess, I was curious to know what the most important secret in a princess closet might be.  To that end, I travelled to palaces and castles around the world.

 I must admit, I had some preconceived notions of what  that secret might be.  Little red velvet pillows to store tiaras?  Nope. Too cliche.  The popular color is lavender trimmed with gold fringe and four corners of gold tassels. Who knew? Glass slipper shoe trees?  Not many of those puppies around anymore. Glass has been replaced with lucite, and the trees bit the dust.

Then it occurred to me.  A princess is kind and generous….that’s it! The biggest princess closet secret is a deep recycle bin! I was right!  A real princess opens her closet to others and shares!  If one of the biggest closet perks of being a princess is a pant load of glamorous gowns, day outfits, purses, jewelry, tiaras and wraps, then the second biggest perk is being able to “wrap” that love around!  Every single princess I talked to shared this sentiment.  Most of them had a favorite charity or cause to donate to, say for proms, or for women interviewing for jobs or already in the workforce.  Of course they also passed a few of their favorites on to a little sister, a big sister, (or brother) or a royally good friend.  

Do you have some beautiful dresses or accessories that you could recycle for a some woman who could use them and who would appreciate their charm and the good karma that came with it? There are so many wonderful organizations that help other women to look amazing and feel confident for their proms, or when interviewing for a job or just trying to make it in the work force. Finding one of these organizations that will become a personal favorite of yours is merely a google a way. Wouldn’t you know, there’s even one called The Princess Project!!  

So princesses, let’s pull a few amazing pieces out of our closets and see if we can’t spread the joy, the love and the glam… and at the same time make room for more! It’s the most fabulous makeover we can do for your closet  besides a special shelf for the lily pad that some princesses had bronzed–



–the one upon which they found their Prince Charming.  Now that one, I didn’t see coming. 

TT4NP! Ta ta for now Princess, 




I got FOSO real bad at Starbucks

Dear Royal Friends, 

You’ve heard of FOMO, right?  Fear Of Missing Out.  But have you heard of FOSO? I thought not. It’s as new as the hot foam mountain on top of a Starbucks Mochachino latte.  And that’s where it all started. Today, when I became, for the umpteenth time, like a deer in the headlights in front of the busy, competent, assembly-line-savvy-as-Ford barristo.

Because for me, ordering anything other than straight up coffee at Starbucks fills me with terror.  That’s right, I got FOSO, real bad.  What is FOSO? Fear Of Starbuck’s Ordering.



It’s not like I don’t have time to prepare. I usually find myself in a line in back of like, 10 people. And while everyone else is heads down buried in I-phone,  I’m all up in the Moment – practicing. I’m mumbling silently in my mind what I want to say when I’m face to face with my coffee destiny.  

You see, you have to say the right, special words, in the right, special order. It’s practically a law. You’re expected to know this, the way you’re expected to know the law. Ignorance of the Starbuck is no excuse.

In their defense, they want you to know the parlance and order because the cups are pre-marked with the special words and special check-off boxes.  The check-off boxes are in a special order. They put X’s in the boxes with big black markers.  And they don’t like to jump around.  So they’ve been training us to ask for everything right, in the right order.  Everybody else seems to get it right but me.  It just spews out of them effortlessly, smoothly, fluidly like the Pledge of Allegiance.  As if they learned it in Kindergarten. Or maybe even Nursery School. But I can’t seem to string the terms together right.   It’s like the coffee terms in my mind are rogue atoms that can’t stick together to make the right molecule. 

I may be dumb, but I ain’t stupid. I’ve been to law school, passed the bar, acted in a 2-person play for an hour and a half worth of memorized lines…and I simply cannot get the wording right when ordering coffee at Starbucks.

In my defense, some of the blame should be on the Buck. They have all these fab pre-fab names for special latte drinks, made with milk. There’s the rub. Once you order soy in the latte, all bets are off. There’s no handy dandy name for it. It’s not a “Skinny latte” any more, because a Skinny connotes milk. Skim milk. There’s no Skinny for soy.

But that’s where I get confused. When I get no sugar syrup, I think diet, and then I think “skinny.” So that’s the word that comes out of my mouth, even when I order soy. No sir.  If you want no sugar,  you have to say “sugar free.” Don’t think for one second you can get away with calling it skinny, just because you’re clever enough to order syrup without sugar.

So comes my turn. I turn my antlers to the barristo.  Here goes. “Okay, hi. So, I want a latte, please but with soy, not milk. I want the no sugar syrup, vanilla. Oh, yeah, coffee. Middle sized (code word: Grande, but that sound just so…big. How can I say Grande?) Extra hot, please. Low foam. No, not low foam, no foam.”  I giggle nervously, apologizing that his big black marker is flying all over the cup, inconveniently.  He has to concentrate. He asks my name. I tell him, adding an explanation for my ignorance. I  explain that I get like a deer in the headlights when I’m ordering at Starbucks..yadda yadda yadda.

His wrist is still flying all over the cup, marking it up with X’s that go out of order.  I bet I’ve given him carpel tunnel. I’m worried now he’s going to sue me. I don’t carry Worker’s Comp.  Am I negligent? Is this foreseeable?   He’s busy.   Oh no. He knows my name now. It’s on the cup. 

He instructs me how to order this drink next time. Good luck. I forgot the minute I walked past the Kind Bars at the counter.  I think next time I’ll just order a “small” coffee.  I know, I know. “Tall.”  But that just sounds so big.

Live Your Royal Life!™ 

TT4N! (ta ta 4 now!)