There’s a big chunk o’ greatness inside of you!

Dear Princess~                                                                                        Did you know that the magnificent, breathtaking and awe-inspiring statue of David already existed beneath the giant chunk of marble, even before it was created?

According to the artist it did!  Michelangelo said of his statue, ”The sculpture is already complete within the marble block, before I start my work. It is already there. I just have to chisel away the superfluous material.” 

If you’ve let life blow you hither, thither and yon (locations without GPS coordinates,) and you haven’t gotten a foothold into some big, bold, princess-worthy dreams, and you’re beginning to doubt that greatness is even there, rest assured that like the sculptor’s enormous  slab of marble, there is greatness within you!  And the most exciting news is, it’s your own unique, very special brand of greatness.                                                                                              

It’s time to start the excavation!  Go digging for that buried treasure inside of you! Starting NOW is  better than starting never.  We need every princess to contribute her own unique brand of talent!  Now is the best time to enrich yourself and by doing so, enrich the world.

Inspire us…. Let us know what you find on your excavation!

XOXOXOX,

PRINCESS DIANE VON BRAINISFRIED

“Live your royally happy life!™”

How to give a million-dollar holiday gift for free

Dear Royal Friends,

This holiday season, wanna know how to take something worth more than a million dollars, not pay a dime for it, and give it to more than a million people? 

The next time you are:

…in back of a mile-long line in your neighborhood’s shrine to organic food, sweating up a storm in your sub-zero rated down parka, and the cashier (along with her customers) is angrier than a swarm of hornets and slower than a herd of turtles — when it’s finally your turn to pay, you…..;  

or the next time you are:

…in a high falutin’ boutique and make a beeline for the sales rack, ask the snobby sales associate the price of those diamond-studded cowboy boots, and you get the obnoxious “eye roll”  and invisible quote bubble popping out of her perfectly coiffed head that reads, “if you have to ask you can’t afford it,” you….;

or the next time you are:

…walking down the street and a sad stranger catches your eye, you… smile.

And because of you, the cashier snaps out of her funk, smiles back, and passes it on.  And because of you, the snobby sales associate snaps out of her cloud, smiles back, and passes it on. And because of you, the sad stranger decides not to take all those pills, goes home and hugs her mom. And passes it on.

The butterfly flaps its wings in New York. The breeze is felt in Paris. And the world says, “Thank you!”

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES! WISHING YOU HAPPINESS AND HEALTH!  

XOXOXOX,  

PRINCESS DIANE VON BRAINISFRIED

                       Live your royally happy life!

 

 

 

Seven Little Known Secrets For Coping With Fear, Anxiety, & Worry

Dear Royal Friends,

Life has a way of scaring the living crap out of us. Sometimes it’s self-inflicted, like when we ruminate in the Trifecta of Troublesome Thoughts (Fear, Worry & Anxiety).  Sometimes we blow up a small problem bigger than Puff The Magic Dragon — the old ‘Mountains out of Molehills thing. Sometimes the goblins are totally real…like the passionate frog you kissed (etc.) and thought was Prince Charming, turned out to be a run-of-the-pond “horny” toad. Literally. 

"When Prince Charming turns out to be Pond Scum.'

“When Prince Charming turns out to be Pond Scum.’

I may be a princess pundit of positivity, but I’m not immune from getting into a tizzy by life’s slings and arrows.  But I do have a rather large bag of tricks up my princess puffy sleeves to deal with them.  I’ve accumulated an arsenal of handy dandy worry circuit breakers which I keep readily available in my “Coping” Cabana drawer located on the left side of my brain.  In the bag are thoughts and exercises that calm my mind when it’s twirling around, as the Queen Mum says, “like a fart in beet soup.”  Or maybe someone’s bubbe said that. 

Here are seven excellent coping tricks I use that are quite unusual, but incredibly effective:

1.  Remember you have to learn how to comfort yourself, then visualize being in two big hands full of light. – Fanny Trueherz;

2. Say to yourself, “Let go, be loving, and let the divine swirl move you.”  – Princess Diane Von Brainsfried;

3. Calming breath exercise: “Smell the flowers, blow out the candles.”  Technique: Breathe in slowly through your nose on “smell the flowers,” breathe out more quickly through your mouth on “blow out the candles.”   – Intensive Care Unit at Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital in New Brunswick, NJ;

4. Say to yourself, “Leave the thinking to the horses; they’ve got bigger heads”  – Fanny Trueherz;

5. Become like a chiropractor of your brain and make an attitude adjustment – Princess Diane Von Brainisfried

6.  Say to yourself, “It’s all mind over matter. I don’t mind, and it don’t matter.” – my dad, Dr. Irving Young;

7. LAUGH. Find some funny videos on Youtube or Facebook, or watch a funny movie.  “The World is full of horrible things that will eventually get you and everything you care about. Laughter is a universal way to lift your head up and say: ‘Not today, you bastards!'” – Anthony Jeselnik  

I invite you to get yourself a big ole’ Bag o’ Coping Tricks too. Steal these from me with my blessing.  Store your bag wherever you like, but keep it handy dandy. And yes, we have to learn how to comfort ourselves, but that doesn’t mean we can’t get a little help from our royal friends.  I’m here for you.  

Bisous et tra la la,

XOXOXOXO,

Princess Diane Von Brainisfried 

“LIVE YOUR ROYALLY HAPPY LIFE!”

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One princess’s pudding is another’s poison

Dear Royal Friends~

You’ve undoubtedly heard the expression,  “one man’s poison is another man’s pudding.”  

"You don't like puddin'? Then more for me!"

“You don’t like puddin’? Then more for me!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For example, staying on a “roll” with the food theme, I am not a big fan of pig roasts.  It pains me to see these sad-eyed  little critters crammed all whole and real on a serving platter, their last Wil(bur) and testament being a parsley-plattered  laurel, a sad irony considering it’s certainly not the pig’s victory.  And, good lord, what they do to that poor apple!

Pig roasts, as you might have guessed, are my poison. But some princesses love pig roasts. To them,  it’s their pudding.

And so I was reminded of this pudding/poison axiom as I was strolling through New York City’s Central Park just the other day, when  grey, threatening skies loomed sooner than predicted.  The clouds were not supposed to open up into wetness until evening. But you know what they say, “Man plans, G-d laughs”  and the skies had another idea.  Almost without warning, we in the park got dumped on by a torrent that soon soaked our clothes and packages, and made our sneakers and jellies squeak.  

Many scurried and many scowled, and most did both, harassed by this lapse in weatherman judgement.   I ran under the nearest broad-limbed tree, but the droplets were like heat seeking missiles that found their way through the feathery leaves.   I spied  a table umbrella at a vacant table by a little park cafe and made a bee-line for better cover.

As I stood waiting out the downpour,  feeling slightly grumbly,  I saw a sight that shifted my perception of the unexpected storm.  

You see, running down the hill outside the little park cafe was a young man pushing a baby carriage  in the pouring rain.  He was shouting  “wheeeeeee” “wheeeeee” at the top of his lungs,  and his rain-streaked face sported a smile so brilliant, it was a near match for the absent sun.   Inside the carriage was a golden-haired angel, maybe two or three years old, soaked curls matted against her head,  head tilted up to the sky to receive this gift, giggling and laughing in wild abandon.  Both of her chubby little  arms were outstretched high into the air in order to grasp the raindrops as they whizzed by her in the carriage.

  I will never forget the expression on that little girl’s face. If joy had a face, she was IT.

In that moment I realized that this downpour, this “poison” that was responsible for so many scowls on so many faces, was quintessential pudding to this little girl!  Forget pudding; this was an Eiffel tower-sized  ice cream sundae with rainbow shhhprinkels!  This was  a giant stuffed teddy bear won at a Six Flags roulette wheel.  This was an “I bought you a puppy” even though mommy said “no.”

Suddenly, at the sight of this little cherub’s amazingly happy face, I broke into a Cheshire Cat grin. Her exuberant squeals of delight tickled me princess pink, and what was a moment ago my poison, became instantly my pudding. (Not to be confused with instant pudding.) Right then and there I made a vow  to remember the expression on that little girl’s face forever. To remember the sound of her unfettered and spontaneous glee.  To remember her father’s indulgently playful “wheeeeeee” “wheeeee” all the way home. I shall use these as my shield against the onslaughts of daily little poisons.

And when they assault me, and they will, I will  remember this little girl and her father, and then this little princess will go “wheeee” “wheeee” all the way home to the palace. 

TTFN, P! (Ta Ta For Now, Princess)  

hearts-673345_640 pixabay

 

 

PRINCESS DIANE VON BRAINISFRIED

“Live Your Royally Happy Life!™”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Unveiling my princess food truck prototype!

Dear Princess,

I recently hopped into the city for some business meetings in my kingdom.  Lunchtime came around and my colleagues and I spilled outside to grab some grub.   My mind was on some salad or such in a little French bistro (of course) around the corner, when my eye caught sight of a gaggle of fabulous food trucks lined up along the street, gleaming in the midday sun. One after the other, these proud, square squatters parked in the fab food lane.  From taco and tortillas, to pitas and their pockets, to brews and stews, the “stand up” chefs in their upscale chuck wagons were energetically serving an exciting diversity of delectables to eager consumers waiting in long ques. Hmmmm….is that a fajita sizzling, or the smell of a successfully sizzling enterprise?!

It got me to thinkin’ — wouldn’t it be fun to add a princess food truck empire to my many indulgent projects? Yeppers it t’wood.  But what would a princess food truck even look like?

I thought up some ideas and consulted my experts, then combed the world looking for a prototype so I could retrofit it to my exact specs!  Here it is!  Whaddaya think?

pumpkin-17662_1920

 

 

I’m so excited, because I got a two thumbs up from  the great chef “Gourd-on” Ramsey. 

What would your princess food truck look like?

Bisous et tralala,

XOXOXOXOX PRINCESS DIANE VON BRAINISFRIED

 

 

 

Is the Humble Brag the new obnoxious self-promotion

Dear Royal Friends,  

There was a time when humbleness and humility was a noble quality.  Those who resorted to bragging and tooting their own horns were viewed as tacky and obnoxious.  Does Queen Elizabeth get her “rocks” off by bragging about how many diamonds nestle in her diadem? The royal “we” think not. 

Enter the humble brag, a term credited to the late writer Harris Wittels, writer on the TV series “Parcs and Rec.” The humble brag is a brag bomb that’s tightly wrapped in humility like a corn husk tamale. You don’t know the quality of the inside mush until it gets unwrapped.

The humble brag, perforce wrapped in humility, can take you by surprise and leave you wondering whether the person just offered up  insider information on her soul, or slammed you with the goo of obnoxious self-promotion.  poses-1367416_1280

So, what’s the humble bragger’s deal?  I believe she is the person who longs to brag, but is too clever to let it all hang out, and soft enough to care about us liking her.   Thus, she throws the scent off the trail with a booby trap, commonly in the form of a preamble that smells like self-deprication.  But never fear — her musket is loaded.  Further down the road she will blow forth a big fat bombastic brag.

Here’s an example: “Can you believe how stupid I am? I can’t believe I blew the answer to that Jeopardy question.  I just don’t know how they let me into Harvard and I graduated Phi Beta Kappa in three years while I worked full time as a reporter for the Boston Globe.”  Here’s another fine example:  “I thought I looked like crap when I stepped off the plane in Monaco. It’s crazy that I got mobbed by reporters who thought I was Princess Caroline. I don’t know why that always happens to me.” 

If one deconstructs the humble brag, it’s pretty clear that the ammunition employed is the smokescreen of confusion.  She said she was stupid, didn’t she? She said she looked like crap, right?  Golly. I guess she’s can’t be bragging.  

So why should we care whether we can identify if someone is overtly bragging v. covertly humble bragging? I mean,  isn’t it true that all braggers are generally sprinkled with the sediment of insecurity, and thus, as princesses, we must have compassion and show tolerance toward them all, even as we turn up our noses in the stink of it? Yup.  But sitting through a covert bragging jag without throwing up is really, really hard to do. So maybe if we can identify a person as a humble bragger, and not a true high-flying bragger, compassion might be a little easier to find. 

Whereas the obnoxious overt bragger wants to be loved but doesn’t seem to give a crap whom he or she offends, the covert humble bragger is a different animal. These folks seriously want to brag, but they still give it the ole’ college try in trying to be decent about it.  They pray you don’t find the bragging stone under the smooth green softening moss of their alleged self-deprecation. We should give them credit for that.  Does that mean they still can be really likable? Yeah. I think so.

Humble bragging may be the new obnoxious brag, but in the hierarchy of obnoxiousness, it ain’t on the highest rung.  And, perhaps one day, you may have something you are really really proud of, you feel yourself busting at the seams, and you’re pretty sure it’s not gas.   You might find humble bragging is your best shot at letting it out — and still keeping your friends.

                                                                          XOXOXOXO                                                           PRINCESS DIANE VON BRAINISFRIED

“LIVE YOUR ROYALLY HAPPY, RADICALLY FULFILLED, PRINCESS-WORTHY LIFE!™”

Is that funny money in your wallet?

Dear Royal Friends, 

It has come to the attention of the keepers of my royal treasure trove, that some of the money in our kingdom might be funny.  Was there an interloper in our kingdom who was laundering more than dirty knickers? How did this infection infuse our treasury?

I was terribly upset at first, because I have heard very bad things about funny money, although I don’t really know what they are. Anything funny seems like a good thing to me. And that’s when I had an epiphany.

We here in the kingdom are always trying to look at the bright side. If anyone can find a way to make lemon-cello out of lemons, we can.  So I thought, funny is a good thing. Stuff that’s funny makes you laugh, puts a smile on your face, lifts your spirits. So if  funny is a good thing, why can’t we look at funny money in a way that is a good thing too?  And we can!  You see, finally, for the first time ever, only in our kingdom, if and when our money is funny…money can buy you happiness.

buy-1299519_1280

And that’s a pretty big bang for the buck.                        

Bisous et tra la la,

Princess Diane Von Brainisfried                                              

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Even now, do you secretly worry about being cool?

Hi Royal Friends,

Do you secretly worry about being cool? You might assume that only teens get swept up into this kind of pressure. Not necessarily.

public-domain-stock-graphics-vintage-advertisements-ephemera-0027

Just as teens experience pressure to become  part of the “in crowd,” or to buy the  “right” purse, or perhaps cringe when mom picks them up from school in an old clunker, anxiety about being cool can shadow us into adulthood like a grease stain on a white blouse.   But it doesn’t have to be that way.

 If we learn to focus on our unique royal essence and our own  precious worth, if we understand how each of us already makes a difference in the world for the better and build on that, we begin to realize how traditional coolness is superfluous.  It’s based on our perceptions of what other people think is cool.  The common cool.  The common cool is just that: common.  But we are not common. We are princesses.  And princesses have a duty to make a difference in the world for the better. That’s our cool factor.

As soon as we focus on what we can  contribute to the world, either through an enthusiastic passion (a hobby, our work, a project) and/or through our everyday doings ( a smile, a good word, a kind deed), our anxieties about becoming cool melt away. Because it just won’t be relevant anymore to our self worth.

Check out  a post here, by Maggie di Pasquale, a wonderfully smart young woman who mentors teens and tweens who addressed this issue on her blog.  Her marvelous advice is just as sage for grown ups. 

In Maggie’s words, “Stop putting pressure on yourself to be cool and start figuring out who you are.”  I can’t agree with her more.  

Go out there and live, laugh, love your royally happy life!

XOXOXOX

PRINCESS DIANE VON BRAINISFRIED

 

9 NECESSITIES FOR A ROYAL PRINCESS LIFE – HOT NEW LIST!

Dear Royal Friends, 

If you’re a newbie princess like I am, it’s a little hard to get up to snuff.  I’ve had to do a lot of catching up in a short time, not only to fulfill my royal duties, but also to learn to live life the way a royal princess oughta. One of my self-appointed duties is to help other newbie princesses learn the (purple velvet) ropes of princess life.  In order to do that, I make lists of this stuff. 

Here’s my latest list. It’s not organized in any particular order, because neither is my brain. 

1. A comprehensive guide to the most elegant and princess-worthy public pit stops in your kingdom — in case you need that throne away from home on your royal tours.

waldorf-MG_3281

The above is the glamorous entrance to New York City’s Waldorf Astoria’s ladies’ inner sanctum on the main floor.   

2. An auditorium-sized walk-in closet for your tiara collection.

vintage-376710_1920

Make sure it has theater-quality lighting.   

3. A signature perfume created by a famous “nose” just for you, with the perfect blend of evocative notes to reflect your sweetness and your refinement, as well as your bold essence. Make sure there’s not even a hint of mousiness. 

rat-1034442_1920

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4. An hat that on a non-royal would look absolutely ridiculous…

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 …but on a royal just looks kinda ridiculous. 

5. A family “CREST” befitting your present royal status.

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Absolutely essential for your front doormat, and by jove it looks swell on cocktail napkins.  

6. A Frenchie Locator App for your phone.

filippo-991912_1920Helpful to locate these cute little royal princess mascots anytime, anywhere, so you can pet them. 

7. Proper rain boots for those more formal occasions. 

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 Sloshing about in muddy puddles with $2,000 pink peau de soi shoes on your tootsies is a total buzz kill. Trust me.

8. A crash course dedicated to international royal-speak.  

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A princess needs to be able to purr in a multitude of languages such phrases as, “I love your tie. Is that Hermes?”  Or, “My what an adorable infant. Do you do Baby Einstein?”  Or in the hotter realms, “Yikes! Are those mosquitoes or birds?”  It’s a “tall” order, but you’ll be glad you did.

9.  Claim a signature expensive French wine as your favorite and make sure to order it frequently. So when the waiter (inevitably) brings you freebies, he won’t “monkey around” with the cheap stuff. And you won’t have to water the nearest plant!

monkey-1028769_1920

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What’s on your princess necessity list?  I’d love your comments!

TTFN,P!  (Ta ta for now, princess!)

XOXOXOXOX PRINCESS DIANE VON BRAINISFRIED

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SPRING RENEWAL – FINDING THE POSITIVE WHEN LIFE BRINGS POOP

Dear Royal Friends,

A little bunny told me that spring is hare, I mean here!  Time for recalibratin’, re-evalutatin’, and re-invigoratin’ your outlook on life. Time to push upwards with a new view. Maybe life ain’t that bad. Maybe there’s something wonderful and promising in your life that doesn’t look so great right now.  Listen, if the tulips and daffodils can do it, so can you! They slept as bulbs all winter long, cozy and warm underground.  Then spring came along, they peeped up from the ground, and what did they find? They’re surrounded by fertilizing poop that smells so bad, it’s a wonder they don’t dive back into the earth and grow upside down! 

But they knew how to put a good spin on the stink. They knew their  situation may be hard to take right now, but it’s gonna turn them into one glorious bouquet!

https://pixabay.com/en/woman-flowers-female-sitting-768702/

https://pixabay.com/en/woman-flowers-female-sitting-768702/

 

 

 The ability to find what’s good lurking in what seems bad is one of the biggest keys to a happy life.  You know that joke about the little boy who found poop in the living room under the Christmas tree, and instead of crying, he happily exclaimed, “I know there’s a pony here somewhere!” The trick in life is to try to find that darn pony lurking in every smelly pile.

Very often, it’s these challenges and limitations in our lives that hold something wonderful, if we just remember to look for it.  A perfect example of this is Dr. Seuss. He wrote one of his most famous books, “Green Eggs and Ham,” on a bet he couldn’t write a book with fifty or fewer words. We all know how that turned out.  He got to say, “Here’s egg on your face.”

I remember when I was in college and I had a  painful infection in my tooth and had to rush to the University clinic for an emergency root canal. The tooth then needed a crown. (Perfect for a princess, aye?) Well the little bugger didn’t fit perfectly, and little bits of dinner liked to hang out there.  I thought at the time, “Well this sucks. Food is getting caught in my tooth and I have to floss it out every night.  What a pain!”  But I figured as long as I was flossing the one tooth, I might as well floss them all. And the habit of flossing was born.  Voila. Something good from something bad.

And indeed, like the habit of flossing, learning to find the good in the bad is also a habit, and you would benefit greatly from cultivating it, even in the lighter challenges of your life.  Say you bemoan the fact that you can only afford one really good Little Black Dress. That might feel like a lack.  But with only one LBD, you might find the benefit of working your creativity like nobody’s biz.  One little black dress might be a catalyst to exploring  different ways to express yourself.  A big starburst pin on the shoulder one evening,  a vivid scarf flowing a la Isadora Duncan another,  bangles and baubles on another occasion, red heels on another, a bold statement necklace on another. Necessity is the mother of invention…in the end you learn something wonderful about yourself. You never knew you were such a mother!

Try looking at life from a benefits point of view, even in the hard times. The moment you take a problem and turn it on its head to find the blessing, life gets a whole lot easier, and you get a whole lot happier.

 HAPPY SPRING!  FIND THE BLESSINGS!

hearts-673345_640 pixabay

 

PRINCESS DIANE VON BRAINSIFRIED

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